Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 8 months ago

Not sick enough? ?

I can’t seem to pin down what the heck I’m going through! Sometimes I think it’s anxiety while other times it seems more like persistent depression or even quiet  BPD but none of what I think are symptoms seem as extreme as what is listed. I was a people pleasing kid to a fault I hated the thought of being disliked and I hated conflict but I’m not so people pleasing currently (I’m 18) even though I still prefer people like me. I know I went through a 9 month irritable/anger period about a year ago that was very hard on me cause I hated hurting others. I feel constantly kinda low and always feel like doing anything is annoying. I eat generally one meal day if it’s a school day. I dislike people generally because I think they are all selfish (even though I know very well I am exactly the same) I ruminate soooooo much it is very frustrating I can’t sleep some nights cause I’m replaying either bad things that I’ve done or bad things that have happened to me over and I can’t block it out. I’m ridiculously afraid of pain and embarrassment to the point where I’m an 18 year old female that has never shaved their legs because I’m afraid of cutting myself. There’s been times where I’ve just held a blade over my leg and crying and feeling like a coward because I couldn’t do it. I can think I’m the smartest and best person while at the same time knowing full well that’s not true and being fully aware I only think that cause I have no other thoughts to compare my own to.(Sorry, it’s long)

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    "Quiet BPD."  Stay off the internet and seek the assistant of a therapist.

  • LAN
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    You got so caught up in your long winded emo rant.   That you forgot to actually ask a question instead of begging for pity.

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