Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingNewborn & Baby · 7 months ago

Co-sleeping with older child?

I have a step-daughter who is 9 years old and still sleeping in the bed with her mother every night. She was in her bed from 3 weeks old until about 7 and then 7 she went back to her moms bed and is sleeping with her mother every night. Is this normal or okay? I want other people's thoughts and opinions on this topic.

4 Answers

  • sarah
    Lv 5
    7 months ago

    To me, this is just a matter of personal preference; what works best for the mother and child. At that age, I slept in my own bed 99% of the time, but would still go crawl in with  my parents during thunderstorms because I was scared of them, lol. Personally, I pray my daughter is in her own bed LONG before then (we currently co-sleep, but she's a nine-month-old who doesn't sleep through the night yet, so it's just easier), but I know a lot of moms who didn't mind having their older children sleep with them. Among my mama friends, four is a common age for at least trying to get them in their own bed. Some of the kids actually did start sleeping alone (most of the time), others are as old as 13 and still sleeping with mom. One of the girls I grew up with slept with her mama until she was 18, and an older friend of mine has a sister-in-law who slept with BOTH of her parents right up until her wedding night (also at 18)!

    Bottom line, I don't think there's any real definition of "normal" or "okay" in situations like this. As long as the kid is happy and healthy and the mama is getting much-needed rest, I'd say whatever they want to do is fine.

  • 7 months ago

    If we took this question outside Westernized nations, it would be a question at all. All over the world children and their parents sleep in the same room/bed. There are lots of reasons why a parent chooses to cosleep with a child... I think, from a single mom's standpoint, some of it is survival. The child needs sleep, the parent needs sleep, sometimes it doesn't matter how that happens. Upheaval in a child's life can also make it helpful to share the bed, my son has severe anxiety--- bordering on paranoia--- and sleeps in my bed because it is so distressing for him as he hears noises/voices and sees shadows.

  • 7 months ago

    it must get crowded when the boyfriend stays over

  • 7 months ago

    She is definitely too old for this. Did her mother sleep in her parents' bed at that age? I'll get her friends don't! Certainly if you are in there too! Mother has to be firm on this. If the child makes a fuss, there are all sorts of things to say/do. At two she wasn't, so say you'll treat her like a two year old, for example. Or ask all of her friends if they do this. Better not to resort to being too unkind, of course, but this has to stop! How about she goes on a sleepover, and you do something nice in her bedroom while she is there and that starts the new regime? There are plenty of parenting books out there! Good Luck!

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