How do people feel about sexuality in general, in their lives and how does it affect them? How is it for you? What place has it had?
I just felt like asking again for reflections on this. It's foreign and avoided, and my brain might burn and I'll get really uncomfortable/confused. I just want examples/parallels to read, might help order slow recovery.
I couldn't imagine someone feeling like s'uality could be ok irl in any way. I can't clearly imagine it being possibly an actual real thing a lot of the time. Never had any realistic fantasies and was always against it for me. For many reasons any of the feelings it can have or be related to got to feel innately or associatively painful, terrifying, horrifying, etc. to some extremes these last years. It had done some constant cycling torture cycles some months in my head at the beginning of last year. It's not as bad now. It still mixes badly with a lot of other issues. Except torture and cognitive misfortunes it really hasn't been much internally for me and I'd do practically anything for a penectomy/castration and such. It also deeply affected every aspect of my life since young. It piled insanities that synergize insidiously with a lot of problematic systems in my head.
The discomforts and such increase a 'confusion libido'. It's just an exponential discomfort mostly. I just need it gone. It has gotten better slightly. I've been trying to make it not as hurtful.
I can freak out really bad for days if it comes out of context and is assumed an ok thing. I censor everything I can.
Extremely isolated, and a lot of other complex issues can be very relevant
If it's 'not real' or in prepared mindstates and contexts; if it's safe and minimal; or if it's from personal internal patterns (more now), then it might not make me as/too unsettled.
A lot of other issues are extreme and have a wide influence (less than before), so I only covered directly relevant stuff for my ~answer. Only there to direct people's comments/insights for helpfulness.
I asked before, nothing decent imo. I just felt like asking again.
Sorry for poor English and unclear thoughts
Something made me freak out very extremely just some time ago, so I reposted this (been some months I think - no relevant answer). I hadn't completely freaked out for so long in a long time and am absolutely blurry and shaken right now.
- Anonymous2 months ago
It is great and had me make my life.
I am married.