Sarah asked in HealthMental Health · 2 months ago

Can you ever get over Suicide? ?

My father killed him self when I was 7 I’m now 32. 

He had schizophrenia. He was deeply depressed and paranoid! The morning he did it he asked if I wanted to go for a walk and I declined he went and hung him self in the garage.  I’ll never get over the guilt of what if.... he’s missed every thing first boy friend, passing my driving text, graduating from university... most important my two children.   I got months not thinking much. My memories are fading I don’t remember his voice. No videos  only a few photos. Today I miss him so much and need my dad. I never had any grief counselling.  Will I ever get closure on my dad I miss him so much. I feel angry my children will miss out too. 

 How do you cope with this?  

20 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Nope, once you're dead, you're dead.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    just dont think about it

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  • Alfred
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    well,milady, with your kind permission, I hereby humbly admit your words here  touched, shook and thrilled  my heart  and soul.

     I clearly understand  you're kind of traumatized - I mean - carrying on the wound  / scar of losing your  father at a very young age-in the most possible dramatic way....

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I know what you mean. My dad died a little over a year and a half ago. It's been a long time since I've attended grief counseling. I get depressed on and off, some days are worse than others. I should probably go back to grief counseling and I suggest you do the same. 25 years of life without a father sounds like a hard life.

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  • 2 months ago

    Oh my god, this definitely sounds horrific, I am extremely sorry for your loss. I was crying reading at this, and I really can't stop my tears since I am quite distant with my dad as he just never understands. But reading this made me realise how important our family is.

    Listen, your father had schizophrenia and that is the reason he died, not you. The morning when he asked for you to go for a walk, he probably just wanted to spend his last few minutes with you. Most people who commit suicide already plan their suicide, it's almost never a sudden decision made at the spur of the moment. I am sorry that you feel guilty over this, but in reality it really isn't your fault. Please comment below if you need someone to talk to. I can be a listener. :)

    • Sarah1 month agoReport

      Thank you. You should make up with him. What I would give. Xx

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I know what you mean. My dad died a little over a year and a half ago. It's been a long time since I've attended grief counseling. I get depressed on and off, some days are worse than others. I should probably go back to grief counseling and I suggest you do the same. 25 years of life without a father sounds like a hard life.

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  • 2 months ago

    I lost my Mom to cancer 19 years ago but i wasn't 7 years old like you were. I'm really sorry you're struggling.

    Maybe grief counseling would help? An alternative would be to Google Coping with Grief and Loss or Coping with the Loss of a Parent. I'm not sure what would be more productive for you, because everyone is individual.

    Anger is a phase of grief, by the way. Maybe you're just now allowing yourself to grieve?

    It might be important for you to talk with someone. I'm sending my best regards and a hug if that's ok.

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  • you will never get over it but learn to live with it.

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  • Duck
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    His self-destructive act was not your fault in any way, whether you went on the walk with him or not. Seek out some counseling for this ... it sounds like it's been bothering you for a very long time, and this forum isn't the place to find the help you need in finding closure.

    Be well.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    By getting yourself into therapy with a qualified mental health professional, preferably one who specializes in helping people cope with grief and bereavement issues. The anger you feel towards your dad is a sign that you haven't dealt with your grief at all, and even worse, it has affected your emotional growth to the point where you're starting to shut down.

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