Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Is it acceptable to tell someone you expect a gift?

Going to try and keep this brief but my driving instructor called to arrange lessons and then told me I should buy him and his wife (she is bringing her car for a lesson to help with parallel parking) a gift as a thank you to them both. I understand it would polite to give them a gift as a thank you for their time but by being told by my instructor I should be buying a gift I feel it takes away the gesture of it. Does anyone find this rude and bad mannered or is a fair expectation for him to have? 

Update:

Edit: I’ve already been having lessons with this instructor for a few months and not looking at finding someone new as he is good at his job in terms of teaching to drive. I just wondered is others thought this particular scenario was odd and it appears everyone agrees with me that it was rude of him to expect this.

Update 2:

Edit: I’ve already been having lessons with this instructor for a few months and not looking at finding someone new as he is good at his job in terms of teaching to drive. I just wondered is others thought this particular scenario was odd and it appears everyone agrees with me that it was rude of him to expect this.

21 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Yeah, that's pretty rude (and may even be illegal if you're paying him to teach you to drive).

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  • 1 month ago

    Regardless as to whether or not your parents are paying the instructor to teach you how to drive or if this person volunteered to teach you how to drive... The fact of the matter remains, it is very rude for someone to ask you for a gift.

    I would totally ignore the request. After your last lesson, it might be a good idea to send him a thank you card because you appreciate learning how to drive.

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  • 1 month ago

    For most people, making it known you expect a gift in show of gratitude would not be considered appropriate. However, some people will have an expectation/assumption that others will share their perspective so ultimately you decide what feels right for you. And there is no obligation to give your driving instructor a gift, given he is doing his job by teaching you to drive.

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  • 1 month ago

    yes

    thats

    v rude. I would change instructors. Next time go in without a gift and be like why would I need to give a gift IF YOU chose to tell your wife the

    rbing

    her car. I am paying you..

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i dont think they should be asking you for a gift either

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  • 1 month ago

    TOTALLY WRONG!  I'm sure your parents are paying this man to teach you to drive - that is all he needs and a Thank You.

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  • 1 month ago

    That is very, VERY rude. He made the choice to assist you, it wasn't like you were asking, and to tell you that he should be rewarded is just unbelievable.

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  • 1 month ago

    Bad taste has become an acceptable way of making money if people will give it to you then people will ask.

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If he wants to charge you a fee, he needs to make that clear before lessons begin. If he wants to charge a fee for his wife using her car for your lessons, he needs to make that clear.

    No one should ask for a gift.  This is extremely rude and honesty rather odd.  I would be wary for them. 

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  • Wilma
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    That's sad. It would be nice of you to give one. But he shouldn't be asking for it. Especially if you paid him to be your instructor. Hopefully, you bought gas too.

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    • Nuff Sed
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Some people are rude because they're just ignorant or improperly taught. In fact, in some languages, "rude" translates into "badly educated".

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