Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

How to handle my boyfriend’s severe anger?

I wanted to surprise my bf by cooking him breakfast. Instead of being happy about that, he sulked, then ate half of it and threw the rest in the trash. I commented by saying, “Wow you threw half of it away. You must not have been hungry”. After that, he blew up on me and literally screamed at me. He claims I “ruined our day” by “waking out of the bedroom without saying anything to him” (he was sleeping) to “spend time in the kitchen alone for an hour” (I was cooking). Then he claimed that I mentioned that he threw half of his breakfast away with an attitude. No matter how much I tried talking to him about it, he just responded to everything that I said by saying that I just “only care about being right” and I need to take blame for what I did. I left the room to calm down and I heard him punch a hole in the closet door. I came back into the room and cried and apologized (because I was angry and I said things which didn’t help). We cuddled and he said he wanted to get out of the house today. I asked him where he wanted to go and when he wanted to leave and he said “I don’t know”. So I continued to cuddled with him until he exploded again because he was angry that I was “falling asleep” (which I wasn’t) and I wasn’t showing that I “cared enough” because I didn’t get ready. I left the room again. He came out an hour later to tell me that I ruined our day, everything is my fault and I’m “not normal”. He has spent the entire day laying in bed with all the lights off. 

Update:

I’m not trying to get validation for breaking up with him. I just want advice on how to handle this.

60 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    if he doesn't admit that he did wrong, you can't do anything...but leave. if you don't want to, bear it...but you shouldn't...

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  • 1 month ago

    How do you handle it? Honestly with someone like that you don't handle it. Why would you wanna stay with someone who makes you feel guilty over things you have no business feeling bad for? Its not a good idea. I honestly think if you stay that he's gonna end up hitting you eventually bc he doesn't have control over his emotions and any little thing that happens he takes it and makes it MUCH bigger than it really is and he just plays you. He plays your feelings really well. 

    He's an emotional manipulator and you can't change him especially since he doesn't want to he doesn't want the help he could get. In less than one whole day he had made you feel annoyed, scared, upset, angry, distraught, and confused. He sounds like an emotional rollercoaster i think you're better off being single bc to accept behavior like that you really must not believe that you deserve better. Please end it with him don't waste your life being miserable.

    Source(s): I've been where you are and it was definitely a huge waste of time
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  • 1 month ago

    Drop him NOW, before he smashes your face in. Get a restraining order if need be.

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  • 1 month ago

    Do you have a question?

    • Kevin1 month agoReport

      The title dummy!

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  • 1 month ago

    Point is he has demonstrated a dark and violent side in a spontaneous explosive punch! Next time his fist might find your face or worse and not a wall!

    The way domestic violence usually begins is a hole in a wall or a dent in a car... You probably get the point.. It almost always progresses to physical violence against another person; perhaps you!?

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  • 1 month ago

    Tell him goodbye and walk out the door. Whose house were you in when he knocked the hole in the closet door? Make him pay for that door. He will start hitting you if you don't get away from him, there's got to be a lot of guys still out there looking for a girl like you. I get the feeling he wanted sex instead of food that morning.

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  • Misty
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Who do you love alot?  A pet perhaps? Would you say it was OK for him to talk to your pet like this? You are important as your pet.

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  • e9601:
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Get out now!! It will only get worse, you can't change him.

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  • 1 month ago

    perhaps he's going through something right now..as i dont see how you ruined the day?? but....if he's not willing to talk n only can freak out n say hurtful things...then perhaps it's time  you rethink this relationship*

    • Sammy
      Lv 5
      1 month agoReport

      No excuse for this.

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  • 1 month ago

    This person sounds like a little boy throwing his tous out of the pram. He isn't ready fo a serious relationship. Wit

    hout knowing much at all about your

      respective circumstances it is very difficult to say much. Agree on a week apart for "breathing space" - then make it permanent.

    • Sammy
      Lv 5
      1 month agoReport

      Get out of imminent harms way, first.  EXCELLENT!

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