Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

I have sole custody of my 8 year old. The other parent has no custody other...?

than parental rights and has been ordered supervised visitation but has only done about 10 hours in 2 years. I know the other parent will object me to move and moving from CA but i will be able to buy a much bigger home with my husband and 2 younger children from my current marriage. My husband will have a better paying job and i will be able to transfer my current position to OH as my corporate office is located there. Has anyone had an experience on this or have any advise? Thank You

Update:

THIS IS FOR THE RESPONSE BELOW..... My comment is too long for me to respond ............Dang I hope you feel better about your self creating a whole comment under an anonymous person. Im guessing you're that kind of dad i'm speaking of huh. Let me respond to your remarks. No child support in force.

I've paid for my child since he was born to include her "dad" who was a free loading EBT wanting government moocher. I had held the same job for the past 15 years thank You! 

Update 2:

 I decided to leave one day with the clothes on my and my daughter back when he threatened my life. Lots of physiological issues with that man. No he wasn't like this and the mental illness slowly started to progress after my son was born. Its not about me let me make this clear. This is to protect my child from a very very scary and bad person. No one is using my child as a weapon. You're "facts" arent facts but simply your opinion on trying to justify your sad little life.

Update 3:

. Also that "dad" you protect hasn't been a part of this kids life since for the past 4 years. That "dad" had 50/50 custody when my son was 2 and lost it by the court because he was irresponsible and slept in the car, didn't bathe my son, loved to use drugs while taking my son around at 2 in the morning, me getting calls to pick up my son by the police because or warrants the "dad" had. Supervised visitation was ordered where i had to pay half the cost! So again please go on

9 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 month ago

    Lawyer up. That is the best way to avoid unwanted complications.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I assume your ex pays some child support. have your current husband adopt the child this end your ex's  obligations

    you impose a impossible and unfair and ugly treatment like supervised visitation

    I do not think you really care about the child or father just your self and money -- well most women in said situation,,, you could be the extreme exception (I bet not) 

    BUT REMEMBER You chose to maker a baby with him,,, if you explain how bad he is the blame falls on you not him 

    the good person should not allowed to original relation 

    note I gave solid advice before I told you facts you do not want to hear 

    when the 8 year old is 20 rejects you seeks out dad... I hope he was as I was and told her to not expect me to talk bad about her mom 

    use of a child as a weapon as you have done is terrible 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 1 month ago

    Forgetting the courts for the moment, you say that you will have more money and a better life.  Your ex will be largely locked out of HIS child's life.  Think about what you are suggesting.  "It is all about ME". Unless you can figure out how to protect your child and your ex you shouldn't even be thinking about the move or the courts.  In this particular case as you get all the benefits then you should be offering at least the costs of flying to CA periodically as a part of the offset.  If you CAN find a way to avoid causing needless antagonism it is worth starting there.

    Assuming that you can get a reasonable agreement THEN you can get a legal sanction for that and no one has any trouble.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Tj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Get your lawyer to contact him, see about letting you move, or even give up his rights to your child.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I know people who've been in similar situations. In one the custodial parent was able to negotiate a move with the child in exchange for the child spending its summers with the noncustodial parent. In the two other cases the non-custodial parent wouldn't budge and the custodial parent had to change their life plans.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • P
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Just make sure you get permission from the courts before finalizing anything otherwise it can turn into a big mess.   Ultimately your ex could stop it if he really wanted to, but given how little effort he seems to have put in I doubt he would put up much of a fight if you persisted.  

    Generally if you are able to establish residency in OH before he files against you in CA he won't be able to do much about your move.  However it's very risky since if he files before you get your new residency you could actually lose custody completely if you didn't immediately move back.  Consult with an attorney.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If he will not consent to it, you will have to get permission from the court.  What we think is irrelevant.

    He still has his parental rights and then visitation would need to be modified if the court approves the move.

    If visitation is modified you should also ask about visitation costs.  Don't assume all the costs for visitation will be on him.  When travel is involved for visitation it's not uncommon that parents are ordered to split the costs 50/50.   My ex lived in Texas for years and the kids and I lived in Michigan.  When they visited him in Texas, we split the costs.  Essentially he paid their way there and I paid the way back.

    Myself, I would not take my kids away from their dad unless there was no other way for me to survive and neither would my husband.  My husband is the step dad to my older 2 and he wouldn't want to deprive them of their dad either.  He could go to bigger cities and make a lot more than he does now but he realized when he married me ... my kids' dad to some extent was also part of the package.

    Sounds like dad isn't a big part of the picture as it is but by moving, you're taking away the contact she does have with him.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Yes, I have experience in this.

    You need to go back to Court and request permission to move the child. I don’t know exactly what “to move and moving from CA” means. I presume you mean moving from CA to another State. Also, I don’t know what “no custody other than parental rights means.” Are you saying he has supervised visitaiton and no other visitation, no overnights, no vacations, he has no part in decision making where the child is concerned?

    Yes, he very possibly will object. However, if he has spent 10 hours with the child in a two year time frame (and you can prove that) a Judge PROBABLY will agree to the move. The problem as I see it is a move from CA to OH. A Court is NOT going to deny visitation. A Court MIGHT require you to pay for the child’s transportation to visit with his father, supervised or not.

    Back up your allegations with proof. PROVE that the father is close to non-existent in the child’s life. It’s going to be about proof.

    The Judge is not going to care if you can or can’t buy a much bigger home. A Judge is going to care what is in the best interest of the 8-year old.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Take your case to court and get an answer in advance. That way there's no turmoil for the child in question.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.