If you have had a child, did childbirth leave you bad memories?

Perhaps this may seem a strange question, but I'm asking because someone said that every year, on the day before her daughter's birthday she feels uneasy because of what she'd been through when her daughter was born.

I said there was no need to fret about any more that since the story had a happy ending, and both her and her daughter are fine.

But she seemed to think that I was insensitive...

9 Answers

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Most normal women completely forget about and don't even remember any "bad experience" or "bad memories" less than one week after the child's birth. They certainly don't dwell on it for years afterward. If women remembered it, then most children would be an "only child". 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This sounds almost like PTSD.  She had a bad experience and can't let go of it.  She needs help to get past these uneasy feelings that haunt her every year.

    You should never dismiss anyone's feelings no matter how trivial they may seem to you.  For the person experiencing it, it can be extremely upsetting to be constantly reminded that they should be "fine".  Instead, be comforting and ask if they have tried getting help for their stress.  (this would be true for any situation when someone shares a distressful issue from the past that still haunts them in the present)  

    Personally, I have two children.  I had far more anxiety before their birth than what I ever had after everything was over.   

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  • 1 month ago

    Not at all.  My first labor/delivery was a nightmare for several reasons, both emotional and physical.  It had no impact at all on how I felt about subsequent pregnancies/births.  We also focus on birthdays, not labor anniversaries.  This person you were talking to sounds like they need some counseling, although that doesn't make it okay to tell her to dismiss it.  

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  • Suzy Q
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Not everything was all sunshine and daisies, but I don't feel uneasy about my childbirth experiences.

    You were still insensitive. She told you how she feels and you completely dismissed her feelings. 

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  • 1 month ago

    I think every mother has a different birth story and different circumstances surrounding their pregnancy and delivery. I also have struggled in the past around my son's birthdays because of intrusive, traumatic memories and I only talk to my therapist about it because other people tend to have the, "At least you have a health baby" or, "Everything is fine now" mindset and that is really not validating. This person trusted you enough to share something hard for her and you basically told her her feelings didn't matter; so I think you were insensitive but probably not intentionally so.

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  • 1 month ago

    Inknow thousrnd theories about the king or the queen in rock music happened with the king Elvis Presley also in Spain for The Residents Tge King and Eye I know the theory which happened in music fir the reason even Tge Man Who Would Be King he was never a king everyone was climbing to Thailand in Berlin suddenly they were all heroin addicts and happened pther theories even from the third reich also was the magazine in the White House

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  • 1 month ago

    My labor lasted 14 hours and it was horrible.  But I never felt "uneasy" about it.  It happens.  I think what you said was very nice and that it was not insensitive.

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  • Goerge
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Motherhood is a singular experience and fatherhood comes in a close second but you and that child have a bond which you belittled. Don't worry about that, it's all in the past now. It's like saying well it's better to have loved and lost than to have never love before to someone who went through a rough divorce.

    Meh, you know what they say

    Is NOT what someone wants to hear when they went through a trying time that is still bothering them. Time healing all wounds isn't a fact.

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  • 1 month ago

    I don't have any particularly bad feelings associated with giving birth.

    Any time you dismiss someone's feelings like that, though, it is insensitive.

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