Anonymous

How do I tell my roommate I’m transferring?

So I’m a second semester freshman in college and I know this is not the college for me. I’m planning on transferring after first semester of my sophomore year but I do not know how to tell my roommate. My roommate and I became very close and we decided to room together next year, this was before I decided I was transferring for sure. She has no clue I even want to transfer. Whenever someone mentions they are transferring she harshly judges them. I’m scared she’ll get mad and I don’t want to make things awkward but I know I’m not happy here and the best decision is for me to leave. I just don’t know how to tell her. 

6 Answers

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  • MS
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You need to tell her, and you need to tell her soon. She may need to make other living arrangements for next year, and deserves to have the time to do that.  

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  • Laurie
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Put yourself in her position. If the roles were reversed, what would you want her to do?

    You would want as much notice as possible, wouldn’t you?

    Also, remember that you are not responsible for her reaction. We CHOOSE how we react, and if she reacts badly, that is out of your control. Use “I” messages, not “you” messages.

    NOT: “You need to start looking for a new roommate. You shouldn’t be surprised. You know I’m not happy here.”

    Instead: “I need to tell you something. When I agreed to room with you, I assumed I would be going to school here next year. That has changed. I will not be here next year, so I won’t be able to room with you.”

    Don’t apologize. Just inform. And remember, her reaction is on her.

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You let her know ASAP.  She needs to make arrangements for next year. To put that off will be rude of you.

    Tell her you a d you parents have talked and you have given if a lot of thought and have decided to transfer.  Let her know you will never find a room mate better than her. 

    Have you tried to get in for this Fall semester? Depending on the university you may be able to get in.  

    If she gives you grief, you need tot all to her about it. She has no right to be mad at you. Upset, disappointed. Yes. But not mad.  

    Do not sit down and try to justify your decision. Do not defend your decision.   You know it is best for your academic future to transfer. Your parents are supporting you (I assume) and you hope she will too.

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  • 1 month ago

    Tell her early on so she doesn't feel blindsided by it; she'll judge you harsher if she is. Try sitting down and telling her genuinely about how you're after happiness and hope she understands. If she does, great; if not, ya don't have to deal with her for much longer anyway

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  • 1 month ago

    Why go back if your transferring. Just tell her now

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  • Jim
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Transfer over the summer and she'll never know.

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