My wife's feelings took a backseat and she trusts her religious upbringing more than our daily interactions to make decisions, what do I do?

My wife has declared that she is the matriarch of the family (basically she wears the pants in the family not me) because she feels that my decisions have been too liberal and amoral so she took away my rights as an equal partner over a decade ago. Her puritan beliefs have done an "okay" job with our family (not our marriage, I've been on here complaining for years about it), but now that the kids are teens and having impure thoughts and impure interactions my wife is buckling down on them instead of letting them go to make decisions that aren't in line with her puritan/episcopal/catholic beliefs. For an example, our 18 year old recently adopted daughter wants to have a 22 year old boyfriend (very common in today's culture) and she wants to do sleep overs with them since she is a legal adult now (and on birth control). My wife isn't okay with that and has forbid it but as far as modern society says, a woman is in charge of her body at 18 and she can do whatever she wants. So her puritan beliefs are in the way of today's culture and I don't know what to do.

Before you tell me to let the two of them sort it out, her puritan beliefs really hurts our marriage too. I am an agnostic modern man; I believe in frequent fellatio and kinky stuff like anal sex. Since my wife is a puritan, she believes the only "right" way to have sex is vaginal and it should only be done to make babies. If I complain enough she'll do the impure act of oral sex but I shouldn't have to beg.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Hmmm, one wonders why you agreed to live like this "over a decade ago". In fact one wonders why an "agnostic" would have even married a deeply religious person to begin with. Your 18 year-old daughter will find a way to have sex with her boyfriend without having "sleepovers" at your house. The guy's 22 so if he doesn't have his own place you should probably more concerned that she's dating an underachiever than that they're not having enough sex. Also, if you regard oral and anal as "kinky" you might be more like your wife than you care to admit. You married the wrong person. One wonders why. Bet it was because she looked so good that you thought her beauty would be enough to get you through life. Turns out there's more to marriage than just having a piece of candy on your arm.

    • UV1 month agoReport

      Sometimes I think you don't remember to check usernames to see if you know more information about the asker before you answer.... I met my wife when I was 19 and stuck with her since. I didn't really know her but I remained committed because teenagers are impulsive.

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  • 1 month ago

    You knew about ALL of this before marrying her; why are you JUST NOW surprised and upset? Should have considered all of this when you met her

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    IMO you were the one that agreed with all this.  If you didn't like it, why did you stay married to her?  You didn't take the role as the leader of the family and now you complain as to how things turned out.

    • UV1 month agoReport

      I was in the role of leader of the family then she took it away from me when I started to convert the family to modernity instead of religious dogma

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    How old were you when you married?  Did she marry you to defy her parents?

    • UV1 month agoReport

      I met her when I was 19, I married her when I was 22. I think she married me because we had a kid out of wedlock and she didn't want to go back home to her parents. I married her out of love but she changed after I put a ring on it.

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  • Chris
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You knew what she was like before you got married. You made your bed.............now lay in it.

  • 1 month ago

    I'm surprised your marriage has lasted so long. You have wasted your time just enabling your wife and her beliefs but constantly moaning about it. What a horrible life the two of you have had - and what a horrible life you've given your poor children. You are as bad as each other.

    • Xavier1 month agoReport

      Yeah dude.  Obviously you don’t want to dump her like some animal on the side of the road.  But you don’t want to neglect your needs either.  I hear you.  Maybe a high class escort on the down low is in order to fulfill these needs

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  • 1 month ago

    You cant change her. It sucks.

    • UV1 month agoReport

      It really does... Why do religious people marry none religious people? To fix me or get fixed?

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  • 1 month ago

    Lemme guess, you wear a man bun, curly mustache and rainbow tights?

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    • UV1 month agoReport

      Sucky guess Xavier. Mushroom cut, no facial hair unless I don't shave for a while, and I'm a huge fan of cargo khaki shorts. But thanks for playing mah dude

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Cute trolling attempt.  Lame, but cute.

    • UV1 month agoReport

      Read question history, you'll see I'm not joking

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  • Satan
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    What do you do?

    Well you're unhappy in this situation, it's time to make a stand, and to stand by your decision.

    Explain that things need to change, or you'll start divorce proceedings.  If things dont change, you have to proceed. No point you being miserable in marriage! 

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