Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

My fiancé doesn’t like my daughter ?

My daughter is 15. Her father does not have a relationship with her and at times she can be difficult like any other teenager. I’m pretty much going through a break up with my “fiancé” because he does not want to try anymore to be a father figure to her

 and I want to know if anyone else is going through a similar situation. He has a son and he just treats them very differently. I treat them both as my children. He picks on her for stupid stuff and if something she does is not perfect then he gets upset and throws it in my face. I don’t want to deal with this anymore plus other things and I just want to know if I am doing the right thing. I feel as I am but idk. Thank you 

14 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Once you have a child every move you make has to come from a place of parent first and everything else second. If you've been with a guy who doesn't support your daughter or your parenting of course you need to get out of that situation.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You have to dump him.  He doesn't 'like' your daughter...he probably has no Love for her.

    I was with someone who didn't appreciate my son...they think if the real father doesn't Love them then nobody should.  The person I was with was very abusive toward my son...my son eventually committed suicide.  I know the abuse had a lot to do with it.  I was always breaking up with him and we moved to another state to get away from him.  

    He's not showing you Love by not accepting your daughter.  I would be surprised if he even puts up a fight for the marriage.

    I would dump him and never look back.  Get a support system around you.  I am still a single parent at age 55 my elder son would have been 36 this year my younger son is 29.  I moved in with my sister because we both needed help financially and she became a mother at age 49 so I help with her daughter.  My sister works and I have been on social security disability ever since my son passed away fourteen years ago.  We go to a food bank at a church and we have friends who help out if we ask and it hardly costs us much.  Everything has its price though.  My four sisters got together and started a business making candles and selling them on Amazon.  I'm on disability so I can't readily own a business but I try to design clothes to sell at the flea market and sell the pattern online.

    I haven't given up on men but I became very selective over the years and haven't dated since I was 39.  I would open my heart to the right man even though the odds aren't in my favor.  I still wouldn't be with somebody who didn't Love my son as if he were their own and my son will be around because he's intellectually disabled.

    Good Luck and God Bless 🙏.

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  • 1 month ago

    It could be that he is uncomfortable interacting with her because he doesn't know what to say or how to act with girls. He may feel it's easier with boys (because he is one), and may feel uncomfortable with the fact that is is lacking the skills with dealing with a girl. He may not like feeling proficient (us guys like to feel capable and useful), so to get out of having to feel that discomfort, he pushes her away. If that is the case, he may or may not admit it. If you ask in the right way, I bet you could find out. If true, then he would need to try to sit in that state of discomfort for longer before acting out and pushing away. He needs to build his tolerance to being outside his comfort zone. Generally, I think they need to spend more time together doing something (preferably fun). It may be good if it is something he feels some level of control or proficiency over, so it will provide him a safe place to retreat. Pedicures is the wrong way to go. Then be very appreciative of his efforts. People like to be appreciated for the things they do. Tell him this really means a lot to you, and you appreciate that he is doing this.

    • Beeeee171 month agoReport

      He has a niece and 2 sisters. He is good with kids but not mine. He hates my daughters father and I think he takes it out on her. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Kids come with the package of relationships, unfortunately.  And it's one of the bitter realizations that lead to breakups.

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  • A
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You should be standing up for your daughter and not let him abuse her. Boyfriends, finances and husbands may come and go but she is your daughter for life, maybe part of the reason she is difficult is how he treats her and you allow it,  you can be sure if you marry him it will only get worse. once your daughter moves out he will direct his anger and abuse at you, get rid of him now

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    • Beeeee171 month agoReport

      Of course its worth it to fight for my child. I’m saying it’s not worth it with him. He will never change n she comes first so I will kick him to the curb

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  • 1 month ago

    Your daughter comes first, not getting dick from a guy, I'm blunt so I'll just lay it out for you!

    If your finance is bullying your daughter, that is abuse, and he needs to go! I don't care how good he is in bed, or how much validation he gives you, he's gone, no questions and no looking back.

    If your fiance can't accept your daughter for who she is as a person, he needs to go! Your daughter should be the #1 priority in your life, not him, not anyone else. You are a mother first, and everything else second/third/fourth until she turns 18!

    This guy is NOT the right fit for you.

    • Beeeee171 month agoReport

      U can be blunt and also be respectful. Thanks. 

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  • Ricky
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    now the question is "do you really want a man who will judge and bring down your family? Do you really want that in your life. It's up to you

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  • 1 month ago

    Do you have a question?

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  • Nitro
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    You have to ask yourself if you're okay with being married to someone who doesn't get along with your daughter. If not, then maybe rethink whether this is the right relationship for you. Any guy who truly deserves you will make every effort to bond with your daughter because he will know how important she is to you.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i dont think youre doing anything wrong, i wouldnt want to be with someone that didnt like my daughter either

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