Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

My great-uncle is frail. If my Dad objects to me travelling to the funeral how do I try to just go and not let him hold me back, read below?

My father is not as controlling as this may sound. However, like anyone he has his moments. When his uncle dies I would like to attend the funeral. The uncle lives in Atlanta area as do 2 of his 5 kids and I went to college at Emory University for 2 years and go to know them all well. They had me over for family events like I was a nephew even though I was their cousin's son. I know some of his grandkids also though there were a lot younger.

When this great-uncle dies I would like to travel to Atlanta for the funeral. I live, as does my father, in the Phoenix area so it is a long hall. For me it is a must. However, I mentioned it to my father and he said "Mike, why are you making plans for something that has not happened". That means he was really saying "don't go". I am an adult living on my own but I work for my father. So technically he could say no to the time off. More likely he will just get angry and raise his voice like I am 12 (I am 37).

So how do I get him to approve and how do I react when he begins to argue it? I think his reason for arguing it is I care too much about family he feels. I am passionate about keeping close to extended family and cause I have OCD there are times I worry too much about it. However, the passion is sincere. Also, and likely the main reason, is he will not want to go and me attending will make him look bad.

So what do I do when this situation comes? The man is not at deaths door but 88 and getting weaker I am told.

Update:

I should note his kids that live in Atlanta I remain close to. A 3rd one of them I know also though the two from NY I have only met at reunions. So I would be going for the 2 I remain close to. 

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  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Dear Mike, 

    The fact that you work for your father and he may need coverage for the work you do is the only concern you have.  surely, you have vacation or bereavement time coming to attend a family funeral. 

    And so, please stay in touch with your family in Atlanta and ask them to keep you up to date on your uncle's situation because if and when he passes, it would be important for you to attend his funeral.

    Plan ahead and get the number of a hotel or motel close to where your family lives and be ready to make a reservation.  If you're driving there, you can call your father once you are on the road and tell him where you will be.  this way he can cover for you. 

    But you don't need his permission.  And since he has been insisting that you not talk about it, then don't.  Just be ready to do what you need to do when this happens and then relax.....your plans are made in advance.

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  • 1 month ago

    i would just go anyways

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i would just go anyways

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Assuming you aren't walking to Atlanta what's the big deal?

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Trolling, trolling, trolling

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