Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Where would I go to learn how to explain PTSD to people who are ignorant of what it feels like to have it?

So many well-intentioned people in my family tell me "let it go" or "only you can beat it and it is a matter of not caring anymore" and never do I get empathy from them or understanding. I have PTSD from childhood sex abuse. I am now an adult. When I avoid going to where the abuse happened they tell me "oh come on Mike, Pete is long gone". Pete was the offender married to an aunt of mine at the time. I also hear "Gary has moved on and you need to also". Gary was my cousin who was also abused by the uncle by marriage.

So how do I explain this to people? How can I describe it in a way they will understand? How do I stand up for myself without them resenting me forever? My father is the one who is the worst about it. My mother tries to show compassion but can't figure out why I care when Pete is long gone (he died by suicide in prison).

I also have Generalized Anxiety and OCD which may or may not have been there had the abuse not happened (I think some it would have but not as severe). My parents claim the PTSD is simply an obsession in the sense of OCD.

How do I get these ignorant family members to understand?

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    It's bizarre they don't "get it", because every sane adult on the planet knows that sexual abuse leaves long lasting scars . So when you ask how to explain it to them, you shouldn't have to!  In other words, it's fine if they don't fully get what you went through.  There's no way they could.  It is NOT fine if they're using this to put you down or be mean about it.  That said, I'm curious why and how the topic keeps coming up. If it's you bringing it up, you need to stop doing this.  I'm sure you want people in your life you can talk to about this, but your parents obviously aren't capable of giving you the feedback you need.  If it's them bringing it up, you need to tell them to drop it. 

    Also, speaking of talking to people, have you ever gotten any talk therapy?  You have a list of disorders, but there are way too many counselors or shrinks who medicate without the talk therapy.  If you haven't gotten this, I'm guessing it's a big part of the problem.  When sexual abuse occurs, people always need this kind of help, and it's eye opening.  You'll feel a lot better if a "pro" can help you untangle all this.

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  • 1 month ago

    i wouldnt explain it to them, they might never undestand it

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    you might not be able to explain it to them

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