Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Why do elder the meanest to the caregiver?

I am a caregiver for my grandma and i am taking care of her by myself and my family barely helps. I feel like i am always stuck lately because the family suggest that she cannot be by herself and offers that ibalways stay by her side. She acts weak when they are around. I tell her to concentrate when she walks but she gets distracted or pushes herself back on purpose.  She asks me to do these things like put a bowl of snacks and she enjoys them until a family member comes to visit her then she gets mad about it and States that i just put things by her and then they get mad at me. She gets distracted when walking even though I tell her to concentrate on walking and ignores me and bends down and falls. She refuses to go to the hospital because of the corona and is afraid she will catch itvat the hospital.  She is always snapping at me about my sister's kids misbehaving and tells me that i need to get her kids under control and yells at me while i am cleaning and tells me i need tondo this while my sister is just sitting there. She asks me to do these things and complains to the family abot what she asks me to do and it makes me look bad and my family attacks me based. She has been able to be on her own when i was working but started to guilt me into staying with her 24/7 now that the job closed. I finally got out with her saying  she is fine and she fell again and made me look bad. 


I have stood up to her and she makes me look bad and my family accused me of elder abuse 

Update 2:

I was supposed to stay to keep an eye on her so she doesn't fall and that is what we agreed on but then she expected me to do more when i moved in and then she tries to slave drive me and complaining about me to family and they yell at me saying i need to do more

4 Answers

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    cause they take their anger out on them, if youre taking care of her medicaid pays people to take care of family members, maybe you should look into it

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    Familiarity breeds contempt. And because you’re assumed to the her sole caretaker, you’re apt to be criticized more and open to that by your peers. Simply try to do your best, ignoring her flack, and trying to worry less about impressions, as it’s a tough job.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    This is a toxic environment for you. Try to get outside help - a support group might help, and maybe a social worker from the state can supply you with a home health aide. Your grandma may be experiencing the fear of losing control, which is causing her to lash out. It's okay to fight with her- confront her about her attitude. Just don't insult her - that's not advisable in a fight with a loved one or relative. But you can demand that she respect you more.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Seems like she wants to control you and keep you as close as she thinks she can. Yet she  is doing this in the wrong direction.

    I use to be a nurse and what I saw going on in nursing homes and hospitals was horrifying. 

    Pray to God for help here.

    Then have a serious talk with her, on Not mistreating you as she is. Give her this choice.  If she keeps mistreating you, find someone else. It would be her decision. 

    Dose she want you and the Love that believers of God have? Of the Lust of someone else and/or a nursing home? 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.