Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 2 months ago

Christianity has ruined my love life?

I am 41 and God never brought me along a partner. Im fairly attractive so i get men asking me out ( not in church) but i always tell them i only date -marry a christian and that puts an end too it. I always believed - esp in my 20's I would meet someone but now im 41 im still single. I also have a job that means i work shifts and weekends so i don't go to church anymore - internet dating is a waste of time at my age/ Im very upset that i haven't met anyone because of these restrictions of only dating a christian - everyone else in churches seem to meet people - why can't i....i feel like quitting and dating any man im attracted too now christian or now. 

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  • 2 months ago

    I'm not really sure why you're putting restrictions on yourself. Everyone is different and every husband and wife or couple of any sort have differences. So why can't you be Christian even if your partner is not? Differences can be interesting. And most couples don't sit around talking about religion anyway. The live their daily lives.

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  • 2 months ago

    Who put these restrictions upon you? I doubt if it was the Church. Christianity doesn't appear to be such a closed shop as some other religions with rules about who you can/can't marry. Yes, it's nice if you both share the same religion and background - but in many cases, one partner will take on the other's religion so they can be together. I think YOU have restricted yourself with a teenage fantasy. Many girls think in their youth they'd like to be nuns, but life intervenes. Your ideal of dating only Christian men and telling your dates at the outset what YOU want - has had them all running for the hills. Perhaps you should lighten up a bit and think of their feelings.  Try concentrating on the type of person a man is, whether you like him properly or not and is he a pleasant companion - not just pigeonhole him into a religious box at the outset. It's almost as bad as being a gold-digger and dating only men with wealth. The poor guys who may be wonderful never get a look in.  To me you sound no different in this respect.  You aim for only one thing and if it isn't there you aren't interested.  You've cut off your own nose to spite your face and at 41 you should have given up this attitude long ago.

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  • 2 months ago

    At your age, with your spelling and grammar skills, you might want to lower your standards by more than just religion.  Just sayin'.

    And let's be honest.  Christianity didn't ruin your love life, you did.  You were too picky with the devout-Christians-only thing.  

    At 41, you're not too old to meet a guy and maybe fall in love.  Even if you're ugly (not saying you are), you still have plenty of opportunities.  You just need to be less picky.

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  • 2 months ago

    First and foremost, don't stop being a Christian, that is the most important thing. Remember if the world ends today or tomorrow God is going to mainly be interested in whether or not you accepted Christ as Lord and savior. That's just to emphasis that your spiritual walk with God is more important than what man or how many men you date in life.

    That said, when I read your question you say "i always tell them i only date - marry a christian..."  That desire for a Christian man isn't bad, it's great. The first problem I would say is you have to separate dating and marriage in your mind. Dating is temporary might be a few months that you date a person, might be a year or even a few years that you date someone, some people for reasons that they know best date several years maybe a decade before they finally tie the knot or decide that they need to move on from each other.

    Point being that dating is it's own process where you might date more than one person before marriage actually happens. Dating, the primary objective is A) To get to know the person better and understand if ya'll really click, connect, and compliment each other in interest,desires, and goals. B) would be do ya'll like being in each others company and embrace. Do ya'll enjoy cuddling with each other, hugging and kissing each other, possible even some sensual intimacy with each other. Some people prefer to skip straight to the physical attraction first and get to know the person later.

    But if you can get dating and marriage separated in your mind, and most of us can agree that yes one leads to the other, dating can leads towards marriage; but for the purpose of finding the right guy for you separate it, cause you might need to use the strategy of being a more romantic and sensual type of woman. Not a whore, a hoe, or anything like that but be willing to give a guy some physical  pleasure in return for the same back. Cause most guys will respond to girls they know is going to give some intimacy when they see her.

     Might just be hugging and kissing; could be foot rubs and back rubs; being kinky certainly helps, foot kissing, toes sucking, feet smelling, or maybe some bondage play, maybe some oral ect.

              If you set your boundaries in the area of physical intimacy then you can be physically accessible without being a hoe, sl*t ut any of those such words. But yeah try being more freaky and physically accessible cause most guys are looking for the physical intimacy. Keep your Christianity in mind but emphasis it to the guy most when you think the guy is worth a long term commitment.

    Source(s): A passionate Christian and a passionate lover.
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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Sometimes we are to never marry. Look at Jesus and his apostles. Jesus never married. All of Jesus's Apostles stopped having sex after they met Jesus!

    We are all here being tested by GOD.  Do you want to fail this test?  End up in Hell with fire burning around you and only remembering all of your sins! 

    Sex is Not even in Heaven!  Heaven is all LOVE! 

    I thought I had married once. He turned out to be a kidnapping Bigamist!  

    You are in afar better life than what mine turned out to be. Yet GOD is still first in my life! 

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  • 2 months ago

    Because Christian or not, just like any typical woman you think you are going to get a cross between Brad Pitt and George Clooney instead of accepting the fact that men are more of a cross between Freddie Kruger and Shrek. You have to date the men that at least ask you to see if you like their company.

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