my ex is upset that I've realized I am a lesbian and we can't date anymore? I feel guilty even though I should feel guilty for who I am?

Ex boyfriend we'll call him Mark.

Mark and I met at work March of 2018, and we hit it off right away. There was an obvious mutual attraction, and we quickly became friends and started dating soon after. Sadly, my family and I were moving so we only dated for about two months and then broke up due to us not wanting to do long distance, but he said he'd wait for me, even though I let it be known he didn't have to. We kept in touch and after the move, got back together around September and dated for a year since we didn't count our short lived break up. A few days after our 1 year, he broke up with me, and said he wanted to wait for me. I slowly lost feeling for him as the months went by and by June 2019, he said he was not going to date anyone else and wait for me, then July 2019, he said he has a new girlfriend. I didn't care though, sure I was a bit hurt, but it wasn't bad, also because I wasn't expecting him to wait for me, he's his own man and can do as he pleases, I'm not some controlling ex, I didn't really care. September of 2019, he said he and his girlfriend broke up and he wanted me back, but I turned him down, and by then, I lost almost all my feelings for him. Then by October 2019, I learned I was a lesbian. When I told him, he said he's not mad I'm a lesbian and he's happy, I'm happy, but upset he "can't have me" and that made me feel sort've guilty. Is it reasonable to feel guilty?



Just to add, my title meant should not, because I shouldn't feel guilty for who I am.

ALSO if you're gonna be sarcastic, don't bother commenting.

And by learned, I mean discovered, but yeah, nobody messaged me I'm a lesbian.


2 Answers

  • 8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Not sure how an ex could be "controlling". At your age you are still learning about your adult self really, and labelling yourself might perhaps be a little premature. You seem not to have any reason to feel in the least bit guilty. "If he can't have you …." - he didn't want you when he broke up with you! Good Luck!

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    You learned you're a lesbian?  Someone sent you a message that said, "You're a lesbian?"

    Or you realized you are a lesbian.

    If you had sex with him, SURPRISE, you're bisexual.


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