Trish
Lv 5
Trish asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 4 months ago

What to do about my son's anger?

My son and I live with my sister and her daughter.  We three pay rent the daughter is only two yo.  My son and I are on social security disability and my sister works.  My sister is not my son's representative payee but she takes his check and gives him a little money every Friday.  She also won't give him his social security card and he wants to get a job.  He could have gone online to get a replacement but she set up the user ID and password but he doesn't know it.  I had been homeless for 3 years and just moved in my son says she just started giving him money when I showed up.  I am 55 and mentally ill my son is 29 and intellectually disabled.  She is too controlling in my opinion.  He should have his check and information about social security.  Lately he has been getting angry breaking things drinking beer and crying.  I know it is stress from being controlled the drinking doesn't help.  He says he wants a family meeting tonight, memorial day 2020.  She asked me what he wants to talk about and I told her these same issues he has been bringing up all year.  She said he needs to be on medication.  I think she should let up.  Plus it is against the law for her to do that.

Update:

This is my own place to live.  I pay rent and have a lease like all the other adults here.

11 Answers

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  • cc
    Lv 7
    4 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Contact your local Regional Medical Center...or contact Social Security, they will be able to tell you who deals with those who are differently able.  The have programs, a social worker that will help person, workablility (a Job), day programs...many things they offer.  If your sister is taking his money and not representative payee, he can just call the police for theft.  Why is it a check and not a card?  Get a Direct Express card, can do over the phone.  The folks at SS will asset him getting a new card, you walk in with proof of who you are and they send you a new one, can do it online also.  For your sons anger, he needs to see someone...check his meds if he is on them...There is help out there...maybe something to do everyday will help him not be so angry...Check with what i listed, you would be surprised...they may be able to help you also.

  • 4 months ago

    Your sister appears to be exploiting your son for his check, possibly. She is, as you pointed out, very controlling in an unhealthy and unethical way. Are you and your son stuck living with her? There must be an alternative, where the two of you could live elsewhere.  What you need to do, is contact the senior and disabled social service agency in your community and ask for help. If you don't know how to find them, contact your local library in the reference section,and they can direct you. Or, look on line. You can also contact the social security office to ask for their assistance.  Your son may or may not be able to manage his own finances, but I really think that you and he would be better off, if someone other than your sister were involved, entirely. Even if it were a social worker, an agency, etc.  Perhaps it could also be you.  Good luck and good wishes,

  • 4 months ago

    If your son can be helped by taking meds, why not make that happen.

    Tell your son to stop giving his check to your sister. He can open a checking account and have it deposited there. As far as a replacement SS card, he can open his own SS account  so her password is meaningless.

    You seem to be inactive and ALLOWING your sister to take control. Which, makes no sense. She has no authority over your son but you sound helpless to do anything about it. 

    Take freaking charge of your son...he needs you, damn it!

  • 4 months ago

    He needs to see some type of therapist.

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  • 4 months ago

    I think what needs to happen is that he needs to be getting services through your county if he's not already. He needs a therapist/case manager who can make sure he is being treated appropriately by whomever is assisting him to manage his money and medications and other treatments. They will also be able to help him get involved in employment programs and learn how to live as independently as he can.

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    She is breaking laws. Get a lawyer, or even see if the police can help. Contact SS with all of his info, let them know what is going on....sent a letter! let them respond to you to another address, so she cannot get the mail

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    if shes doing something against the law turn her in

  • 4 months ago

    Also went to see Fields of the Nephlim

  • 4 months ago

    Pick up the phone and call Social Security and ask them what to do. Or call the local Social Services office and ask them for help.

    Soc Sec 800-772-1213

  • 4 months ago

    If you don't like it then find your own place to live!

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