Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 2 months ago

What would you do/could you do in this, the worst year of your life, in order to a.) make it go better; and, b.) cope?

This past year has meant a divorce, forced move, Covid19, loss of pet, death of pet. My job was also jeopardized. So, help. Tell me how to make it better. I'm trying to get back in shape after becoming fat. I'm trying to get more work. I'm trying to meet someone. But, I need some quick positives in my life--some fun, some pleasure, some different perspective, goals, etc. Drugs and alco won't cut it.

1 Answer

  • 2 months ago

    A lot of our misery comes from being upset about being upset. This is being sad about being sad, afraid of being afraid, and angry at ourselves for being angry. 

    Someone here asked, "How do you deal with disappointment or discontentment in life?" Here's what I said.

    One of the best strategies for mental health is minimizing the amount of time you spend down in the dumps because of a misfortune. When you're knocked down, get back on your feet as fast as you can.  

    Optimism sometimes gets a bad rep. There's stupid optimism, which says that things are great when they're obviously not, but there's also smart optimism, which is always looking for ways to make lemonade out of the lemons life gives us every day - big ones and little ones. Instead of cursing your bad luck when things don't go as planned, look for the advantages of the new situation. Use your imagination. This is how to be "lucky."

    Thousands of years ago, a wise man said that discontentment comes from two poisons of the mind - attachment, which is derived from the illusion that things can be permanent, and fear.

    Psychologist Marsha Linehan, who created Dialectical Behavior Therapy, says that acceptance isn't liking something. It's learning to live with something we don't like that won't go away, at least not for a while.

    A couple of tips

    When you're in a bad mood, look at the thought that triggered it. See if it's false or otherwise useless. If it is, let it go and replace it with two positive thoughts.

    Count your blessings, and remind yourself of your past successes.

    Stop and smell the roses.

    I've answered a lot of mental health questions, with advice from experts about a variety of problems, including how to get help during the health crisis. You're welcome to click and read.

    You can't go wrong with stress management. It's something we all need. I'm not saying this is a good replacement for getting professional help, but it helps with a lot of bad situations. Here's an answer with a number of good things for stress.

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