Go to birthday party without an invitation?

11 kids in the church and most have birthday parties that include invitees. A few just let the birthday be a family affair and no invites.

We have a few retired persons and a couple wondered if it is ok to visit the home on the day of the kids birthday though not invited. The kids love the retired and the love is mutual. But the parents all under age 45 never invite any of the retired. Ok to visit the home the day of the party to get a gift to the child (versus sending it in the mail) and maybe stay 10-15 minutes unless they are asked to stay for the refreshments, etc. Thanks.

Update:

The gift was to be a surprise since this was the first year we were able. If we call and their lack of English fluency misinterprets the question: Ok for us to stop by for a few minutes? That misinterpretation would not be positive. I guess the gift could be held until we see each other in the future. Belated gift it's called.

7 Answers

Relevance
  • 8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    I would say it's not wrong to call at the door on the day of the party, but DON'T go in even if invited. Just say, 'Hello - we won't keep you  -  we heard it was Billy's birthday today, and just wanted to hand this in for him. Hope he's having a good time! Goodbye!" and GO.

  • 8 months ago

    Ultimately, this is going to come down to the dynamic/relationship between the retired people and parents of the birthday children. There is no obligation for parents to invite specific people and some may see an uninvited individual appearing on their doorstep as inappropriate/crossing a boundary. Equally, some may be welcoming of all visitors.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    they should ask if they can come

  • JuanB
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    I would assume the day of the party before hand they'd be busy getting ready, and exhausted after.  So I would try drop off a present a day or 2 before the party or the day after.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Jenna
    Lv 4
    8 months ago

    I understand why you want to be community spirited and wish someone on your congregation a happy birthday. If I were you I would not go over. Maybe contact them after the party and let them know you have a present and ask when to drop it off.

    Perhaps if you want to build better connections you and the retired folk could host your own gatherings and invite the younger folk. Sometimes people just assume people of different ages wouldn't want to bother, but you might be surprised. 

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Unless specifically invited to the party, don't "drop by" unannounced on the day of the party.  Give the gift the next time you see the family.  I personally wouldn't even buy a gift if not invited.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Not okay. You don't invite yourself over, ever, and it's a particularly bad idea on a day that's probably already busy.

    What the retired people or person should do is phone and find out when might be a good time to drop off that gift and visit for a few minutes, being open to scheduling it for another day altogether.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.