Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Business & FinanceRenting & Real Estate · 1 month ago

Should my in-laws have a key to my house? ?

Me and my husband have bought a house together. We will be moving in soon and we’ve recently gotten into an argument over who should get house keys. He wants his mother to be able to have a house key because he thinks she won’t feel welcomed in a house that she doesn’t have 24/7 access to. I’m strongly opposed to this because in my mind, a nosey in-law shouldn't be able to go into our home without us there but we can’t seem to be on the same page. Also, she hasn’t asked for a key. He wants to just give her one because of how much she has “helped” us with this house. I have a lot of reasons for not wanted my mother in law to have a key but none of those reasons make sense to my husband. Am I crazy for not wanting my mother in law to be able to go into our home without us there? 

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  • Trish
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    What's crazy is the thought of your mil having a key to your house/home.  She's not entitled to have access to your home even if she did help.  I haven't ever had an inlaw request access to my home but an husband who doesn't know any better might take things and allow people over in the beginning phases.  Continue to put your foot down and don't forget to pray together 🙏😇.

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  • 1 month ago

    You might consider installing an alarm system monitored by the company that installs it.  DO NOT inform anyone, family or friend, the password.  There will be no need to have family to hold a key.   Key holders beyond family are no longer required.  The alarm/fire alarm system is a well spent Investment to put your mind to ease.  It surely solves the decision regarding who gets house keys.

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  • Barry
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Do you have a key to your mother-in-law's place? I expect not. So put that to your dopey husband. Why would she not feel welcome?  He sounds like a mummy's boy to me.

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  • 1 month ago

    My brother who lives locally, and my mother(who does not) both have a key to my property.  Neither have turned up unannounced and have always respected my privacy.  My brother has one (and I have one of his) in case either of us looses our own keys, or are away and need someone to access the property for a specific reason.  My mother has a key so that when she comes to stay, she doesn't have to rely on me being with her 24/7.  However, she often forgets to bring it with her.  I have nowhere suitable to hide a key.  If you think that your MIL can respect your privacy and use the key in emergencies only, then there isn't a problem.  If you think she will just arrive unannounced, then I wouldn't give one.

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  • 1 month ago

    Not crazy, no.  Keep discussing it.

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  • 1 month ago

    I'm on your side here--don't give her a key. If you already know she won't respect your privacy or boundaries, giving her a key would be downright foolish. No one needs a mother or mother-in-law to have 24/7 access to their home--unless there is some physical reason she needs it. And you say she hasn't asked you for one--so why invite trouble?

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    There is no "should" about who should or should not get a key.   This is for you and your husband to decide together.   If he trusts her and you don't, that's a marital problem, not a MIL problem.

    That being said, there are ways to track who comes/goes from your home and when.   

    You can get keyless entry so that whomever enters has to enter their code and you can remotely program when they can and can't access your home.  Or you can get an alarm system that tracks the comings and goings of each person.   Or an electronic key box like realtors have.

    This is 2020 and technology abounds.  You don't have to kick it old school by cutting her a key at the hardware store and hoping for the best.    

    I recently fell and broke my leg.   I was very glad that I had given someone else a key.  

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  • 1 month ago

    NO!  Absolutely not.  Your husband's thinking is flawed.  She will feel welcome when she is invited over.  Key-holders should be ONLY the people who live there.  And she does not belong there unless you or your husband are present, which would require no need for her to have a key. 

    • teri1 month agoReport

      Thank you! I feel the same way. I know my mother in law well enough to know that there’s no reason why she wouldn’t feel welcomed if she didn’t own a key to our home. I’ve truly got no idea why my husband would feel that she would feel that way.

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  • Tavy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Absolutely NO. I have never given anyone our key, but my son knows where one is hidden for an emergency.

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  • 1 month ago

    Nobody has a key to my house unless you live there. The only exception is a temporary key for someone to look after things if I'm out of town. And it has to be someone you trust to not make a copy.

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