If a 25 y/o man gets a job through his mom’s connections, & the HR manager speaks to him like he’s retarded, does he deserve that treatment?

Please excuse my poor choice of words.  But if an HR manager demonstrates the following behavior to her employee who didn’t get the job on his own, is it understandable since he’s “not a real man,” or is her behavior inexcusable and worthy of a write-up:

— She repeatedly calls him “such a good boy.”

— During a transit strike in which everyone had to car pool or whatever means of commute, she said to him, upon his arrival, “Your mother sent me an e-mail making sure you got to work okay.” But his mom never did any such thing, which he clarified by asking his mom directly.

— When he severely injured his hand@work, he hopped in cab so he can get home ASAP to aid himself in medicine cabinet.  Next day when he walked into HR’s office with a cab receipt to inquire about reimbursement & explain his bandaged hand, she said, “OMG did your mom look at it?” & “whenever the other guys get one tiny injury, they take a whole week off. But you came to work the very next day. You’re such a good boy.” FYI, he never got his reimbursement. She just brushed him off like a well-behaved little boy. Another employee was in her office at the time of that degrading remark.

But he owns an apartment, has a car, & a girlfriend. His mom just had the connections to get him better job, but she doesn’t “look after him.” Also, the HR is very loud, so everyone heard her “butt-powdering” remarks. Please, no trolls.  Thank you.

She is 40 with no kids. Does she feel the need to baby adults like they’re hers?

5 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Troll harder.

    If I 'severely injured' myself at work, I'd be off to the hospital.  If I needed a band-aid, I'd get one from the work rest room.

    Travel back and forth to work is the responsibility of the employee, not the employer, so no cab receipts presented.

    If you actually are going home to put a band-aid on your boo-boo, the treatment sounds expected. Maybe not appropriate, but not surprising, either.

  • 2 months ago

    It’s pretty common behavior for troll managers.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Another fantasy question IMO.

  • 2 months ago

    What you do is look her straight in the eye and say in a calm and even voice, "Please don't talk to me like that." Give her two seconds for that to sink in, and then ask, "Do you understand me?" Continue to look her in the eye. Don't threaten her or act angry, and do not raise your voice. In fact, saying it quietly can be even more effective. Continue staring her down.

    If she tries to give you a snippy answer or tries to brush it off, don't let her get away with it. Tell her "I mean it. You need to treat people with respect." AT ALL TIMES, look her directly in the eye, do not raise your voice or act angry, and use neutral language, regardless of what she says or does. No swears, no yelling. You have to make sure that SHE is seen as the bully that she is, and that you are seen as the injured party, and a reasonable person by any third parties. 

    If she continues to resist, end the conversation with, "I told you what I want, and if you don't stop it, I'm going to your supervisor. I hope you understand, because I mean it." Then turn your back and walk off.

    I have done this more than once, and the person is usually shocked to be called for her/his actions, so you have to tune your actions to the other person's reaction. If there's an apology, be graceful and accepting, but be sure to seal it with, "That's OK, I just want to be sure it doesn't happen again."

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  • 2 months ago

    No, the treatment he deserves is being fired.  Here's why: When a person is injured at work, even mildly, they are not supposed to hop in a cab and go home for treatment.  If treatment is necessary, then they must either get the treatment at work, and then fill out the proper accident report paperwork before leaving work, or go to a doctor, hospital, or other medical facility for treatment by a professional.  Some employers won't even allow an injured employee to take a cab to get treatment and will require them to use an ambulance.

    Not following the proper procedures for dealing with an injury at work isn't worthy of just a write-up; the employer can be fined tens of thousands of dollars.  Proper reporting of injuries isn't just a company rule; it's the law.

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