Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Question for anyone whos lost family due to covid but didn't live with them...?

I lost my aunt to the virus and uncle last yr due to a short cancer journey. We were al lvey close. They were parental figures for me.uncle was significantly older than aunt so was also a grandfather fig to me. He loved me more than his own grandchildren. Death was extremely hard. I cried in a way I have never cried before ever in my life.. Even months after id cry just thinking about everything. Still felt like he was alive but elsewhere. Now my aunty and I have a different relationship but v close she was less emotional than him but still a mother figure. She showd her love in actions and asking about me unlike my uncle who would hug and kiss and tell me to sit next to him when I was in my aunts room w her (lol). The whole virus meant we were all in lockdown when she caught the virus and didn't see her but followed everything. Talked day before going into hospital on phone. 3 days later after o2 therapy she was taken to ICU. Died 5 days later. Saw her in the ICU through video and said goodbyes. Was terrified for funeral and to see her. But was very calm atmosphere (less ppl and we all decided no one was to wail and cry loudly, just silently). Saw her face and it was very underwhelming. Its like I saw her just before and next time I see her shes dead. Looked like she was asleep. Bc she was ill in the hospital and didn't see her in person up till her death it felt like everything was a dream... even now doesn't feel real. I am not in denial but doesn't feel real.. my cousins

Update:

agree (they

dont

live with her,

only

son did but

havnt

had the chance to talk w him). The whole circumstance meant that we never saw her ill in person. Just saw her dead body and so it feels like a dream. I have cried but not the same

amout

as

i

did with my uncle when he

passd

.I

feel so guilty as I should be 'missing her' like I missed my uncle. At

first

I thought It was bc I was closer to my uncle but I

dont

think

thats

the case. Was close to both but in different ways. 

Update 2:

I feel like this feeling like it never happened is because I personally

didnt

see her sick or was there with her when she was sick. My cousins (who

didnt

live w her felt

same

). My cousin who did live w her probably has a whole different perspective as he saw her sick and even visited in the hospital (nurses allowed him as she was in the normal

covid

ward not the ICU)

Update 3:

Why do you think

im

feeling like this

..

pls

dont

say its grieving cause it is not the

grieiving

process which I am very much aware of

1 Answer

Relevance
  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you should get some counseling

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