Kat asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Did I have a right to get mad ?

My brother in law and his new wife hardly see my husband and I and whenever I see them. They never stand up and say hello to me. I always go up and have to say hello to his wife and him and they don't stand up. They just sit down and act cold. Today they came over my home and I walked in the room to say hello to them and they just sat on the chair and I got mad and said I haven't seen you in months

You can stand up and say hello to me properly and give me a hug. And they said sorry and got up right away and I got upset and went and made coffee. I'm really over the way I get treated.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    If they used to be emotionally effusive people and this suddenly changed you should ask them what happened. If they've always been somewhat reserved you shouldn't question it because it's just the way they are. 

    • Kat1 month agoReport

      Thank you so much. They always stand up and say hello to everyone. They use to be nice to me until his wife got fat and had issues. She's really rude. After I did that she doesn't treat me bad now. Thank you 

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  • 1 month ago

    No, there is no right in the Charter of Rights that says you have a right to get mad. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Lets take this example;

    I go to the White House. Nobody looks me in the eye, hugs me, asks how my day was. They just give me a mop and say I've got the back porch tonight. I'm the janitor, not a Prime Minister.

    When I hear things like what you said I cringe. For whatever reason, all the way down to 'because your black,' they don't want to chat with you, hug you, they are not excited to stand up and see you. And then so much worse, you get all pissy about it. Making anybody who even had half an inclination to make you feel welcome or was interested in you back off as you stand alone in the corner pouting with your arms crossed.

    You're expecting to be treated as a king just because you're generally amazing. As soon as you walk in the door you'll be bowed down to. And that's the mentality and behavior that directly caused you to be exiled the way you described.

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    • Lv 5
      1 month agoReport

      Like I said, yes it is hard to get off your ass to say hello when the person's body language and energy says "fine, don't talk to me, you jerk!" Deep in your soul you prepared yourself to be rejected and that's exactly what you got.

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  • 1 month ago

    I imagine this isn't an isolated instance as you apparently have high standards of others and if they aren't willing to meet them, you get upset.  So, I suggest you either lower your expectations or stop seeking validation for your intolerance.  Your choice.

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  • 1 month ago

    They were obviously surprised at what you said, but saw your point. So why don't you wait and see if they change their behaviour from now on?

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Since when is it necessary to stand-up when greeting people?  Have you ever thought your family members don't want to risk getting the corona virus by giving you a "mandatory" hug?

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    • Kat1 month agoReport

      I'm not a queen but I'm not going to take rudeness just because people think there better than others. 

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  • 1 month ago

    You may want to accept their behavior to keep the peace. No reason to stand, other than it’s exceptional courtesy, yet you’re not the Queen. 

    • Kat1 month agoReport

      I'm not saying I'm the queen. But it's just courtesy to say hello to someone when they come into your home. These people are seriously rude 

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