Katie asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 month ago

Poem... please give feedback! ?

first couple of stanzas, just want some feedback :)

FIRST TWO STANZAS

america calls itself “the land of the free”

so why are so many dying at the hands of police brutality?

the mission of police is to protect and serve society

but the actions of some have earned them notoriety

young people of colour grow up with fear

and police prove this to be valid year after year

in america alone hundreds have been murdered

and with every new death the injustice is reasserted

george floyd’s murder sparked fresh outrage, and anger too

but what will it take for the voices to break through?

they stomp and they shout as the casualties pile

but police stand their ground, fiercely hostile

the racist few corrupt the force and inject poisonous drugs of hate

into the veins of those who were once humane

they tear-gas the crowd, and with rubber bullets begin shooting

cameras only turn on when peaceful protests turn into looting 

LAST STANZA

for people of colour the oppression does not end

but we only notice when the hashtags begin to trend

white privilege is real and it’s time to remove our blindfolds

and open our eyes to what’s happening , and the power that we hold

to give these people a platform to speak up about the issues they face

they have been antagonised for far too long, just because of their race

we must all stand in solidarity to help end this horror story

it’s time for the world to see people of colour in all of their glory

2 Answers

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  • Ludwig
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Reads like a poem by 'William McGonagall'.   It lacks meter.

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  • martin
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Very good to see this expressed in words that were carefully chosen.

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