Can I get in legal trouble for not telling a man I'm having his baby?

I'm a 22 year old woman who has been in a relationship for the past two years. I'm a lesbian, and I made a mistake months ago when I went out with some friends from high school. I Got drunk and wasn't thinking, I ended up sleeping with my friend's brother. I'm now four months pregnant because I was an idiot who didn't use protection. However I'm not into men and I don't want to be attached to this guy for the rest of my life just because his sperm is the reason I'm having a baby. I don't even know him and quite frankly I wasn't his biggest fan in high school, I don't know what he's like now as an adult but I am perfectly okay with raising my child on my own. If I choose not to say anything to him and make a valid effort not to let him know my baby is his I really think I can get away with it. But is there any chance of me getting into legal trouble for not telling this guy he'll have a tiny human walking around with his DNA?

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    Probably not a big deal.  Most men don't want kids anyway.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    I am not judging you, as I feel for you in this difficult situation. Please do the right thing and tell him - even if it means writing him a letter or telling your friend (his sister) as a starting point. Every father deserves to know if they have a child; the same as every child deserves to know who both their parents are. 

    I disagree in this modern day and age of mothers denying men to have their human rights in letting them know about their own begotten child(ren) out there. It is playing God and it is highly unfair on all parties involved - your friend would no doubt like to be an aunty and think of the child's grandparents missing out. If word gets out to your friend that you are pregnant and to her brother, then chances are he will do the maths and figure it out himself.  

    Please do not go on what the guy was like at school as he could be a brilliant dad. Also, being a parent makes one grow up and mature - so please do bear that in mind. 

    There are other scenarios to think about, such as your child being deprived of the opportunity of knowing and bonding with their dad. Believe me, it is better to be honest from the start - as the truth will catch up with you in the future. It is important for your child to have a healthy attachment with his/her dad as well as you. Your child will have issues if you keep a big part of their identity a secret. Also, another thing to think about is it not being fair on your baby dad's future girlfriend etc., if she doesn't know about her partner having a child out there and for it to come out in the woodwork as a bombshell of a secret. 

    That is why I chose a man I was sure did not have any potential children out there before settling down with him and having his first ones.

    Please do not think I'm having a go. I think it would be in your best interests (in the long-term especially) and in your child's and the child's father's best interests to tell him as soon as possible. Whether you tell him your sexuality or not is up to you; but I would advise that you do to not give him any false hopes or at least tell him that you don't want a relationship. Please do the right thing by your unborn child and just make life easier for everyone. 

    Please stay safe and have a healthy pregnancy. Sending prayers and compassion to you. 🙏

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  • 4 weeks ago

    I work in a Law firm, there is nothing illegal in it at all. There is no reason for him to know, ever. Although, if I were in your situation I would have an abortion. (If you did that he still has no right to know...)

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    None of us are lawyers or law experts of

    any kind & you should have posted this in

    Law And Ethic's category my sad bro-chick 

    cuz dawg !

    ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    No. Leave the birth certificate blank. He has no legal obligation to you and you have none to him.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    I don't think it's illegal to not tell them, but I think it would probably be of best interest to tell them as well as your friend what happened. It would be best to tell them but make it clear that they aren't obligated to help you if they don't wish to be part of the child's life. You would also have to consider the unborn child's feelings in the future; as well as the what if's, don't stress on it but take it into consideration. What if the child want's to know who their dad is, and how will you handle the situation and explain when they get older. Hopefully this helps, sorry if it's confusing! But TLDR you shouldn't get into legal trouble, because you are under no legal obligations to let him know. 

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    There is no legal requirement to tell him that I've seen.  The world is a big place and I hesitate to say there is not such a law someplace.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    See a lawyer. There are rights AND obligations involved, including those of your unborn child. 

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  • 1 month ago

    It is up to you. There is no legal requirement to name the father of the child. If you want financial support to raise the child you will need to name the father but that could give him some rights over the child depending on the jurisdiction you live in. If you do not name the father and bring up the child yourself, that is your privilege.

    It is likely that later on, the child will want to know who the father is. Whether you tell the child or not is, again, up to you.

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  • Tj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    what will you tell your baby when they grow up and want to find their dad? Remember DNA matches happen all the time. Are you 100% sure this guy is the dad?  You can give the dad the child and give up any rights to the child.

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