EVERYONE thinks I'm a closeted bisexual, how can I save my reputation??
I'm 22 years old and I dated the same woman for a year and a half. I "dated" little boys growing up until my freshman year of high school when I realized guys just weren't for me. It was a little complicated growing up because people looked at me and always assumed I was straight because I'm extremely feminine. Even when I was in serious relationships with other women I always found myself defending my sexuality because people had the nerve to say I didn't know myself well enough and I had to be bi. I'm definitely a lesbian, I love women and can't picture living my life with a man. I did however make a mistake and cheated on my ex girlfriend with a childhood friend when I got drunk one night, he took his shot and I did something I normally never would. My girlfriend found out about it because she found and empty box of "Plan-B" in my car so I told her what happened. So she dumped me and told everybody I'm "A confused little girl" (She's 7 years older than me) and told everybody I sleep around with men. Now that I'm trying to date again nobody takes me seriously, every woman I talk to knows about what happened and says I'm another bisexual. That's a huge problem, I myself don't date bisexual women so I definitely don't expect anyone to take me seriously if they think I'm some closeted bi chick. How do I fix my reputation after my ex made sure everybody knew I slept with a man?
- Raven SlightLv 54 weeks ago
I have two facets of response.
The first is to point out that you have exhibited sexual attraction even now to both male and female identities. You may be homo-romantic, but you are bisexual.
Along this, the matter of cheating on someone exists independently of sexuality. The Sumerian god-king Gilgamesh, in the 3rd or 4th millennium BC (literally over 5000 years ago) begins the story (of which he's the hero) invoking his kingly rule to sleep with women on their wedding nights before their husband is permitted to consummate the marriage. Sleeping around isn't something bisexuals have a monopoly on, and they never have.
These come together to bring the questions: What is wrong with bisexuality? Why do you not wish to identify as a bisexual? Why do you intentionally exclude bisexual women from your purview?
Side-question: How do you know that all women you've either slept with or been in a relationship or been attracted to are not and have never identified as "bisexual"?
-----The second facet is to promote what I'm calling my "sexual color theory". Simply, let's say we have a line. On one side, the line is Red. On the other, it's Blue.
Halfway between the two is Purple. Between Purple and Red is Fuchsia. Between Purple and Blue is Indigo.
There are obviously other colors, if I wanted to pull out my Crayola 64-crayon box. But, well, this should be enough to say that nothing is wrong if someone identifies as Fuchsia or Purple or Blue or any other color on this line.
- 4 weeks ago
She's right. You're a confused little girl, and an embarrassment to the lesbian community. A true lesbian would never have cheated with a man, no matter how intoxicated she was.
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
You can't. I don't blame your GF for not believing you, and neither should anyone else. Biatch--you cheated on your GF with a man. Deal with the consequences.
- xxx000auLv 74 weeks ago
I think the only problem in your life is in your head.
Why care what others think or say. They simply do not matter.
At this period of your life I would hope that you will find a long term partner and maybe start a family. In 30 years time none of the people you stress about today will matter to you.
Just as an example, you say in your youth you enjoyed other boys. Okay and today they are no longer in your life, that is just in a period of say 8 years. When your children are starting their own families these people views will matter so little, most of them you wont even remember their names.
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- Anonymous4 weeks ago
Try growing up & then realizing that said
Opinion of random folks don't matter which
only shows the ignorance of human-kind
my dawg :)
- PeterLv 74 weeks ago
You don't appear to have a reputation that is worth saving.
- Anonymous1 month ago
It seems like you are just keeping focused on a small dating pool of women. Break out of your social circle and keep meeting other people. 1) She can’t know everyone. 2) Her words are only going to last for so long. Even if you stay in the same social circle - in a few months this will all die down.
Take up a new hobby. Join a lgbt rec league, place of worship, volunteer for a lgbt charity. Maybe take a weekend to city with a big gayborhood. Heck - if where you live is small and there aren’t that many people there - maybe move. Don’t move over just this incident - that would be a little much - move if you want to learn more about the world and have larger dating pool of women.
But yeah - I think you just need to expand your circles of influence and keep meeting different people. Stop being in the same group. At least for now. When this dies down your current group will have moved on and you’ll be able to date them again. Just keep networking!
- CyrilLv 41 month ago
I thought you wanna save your reputation and tell them that you're straight, wow! you're a legend.
- Anonymous1 month ago
You sound somewhat bi mostly lesbian.
- BobLv 51 month ago
What’s wrong with being known as a bisexual. It certainly sounds as if you are.