Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 month ago

As a step in dad am I allowed to punish kids that aren’t mine?

So I’m engaged to someone I’ve known for 8 years now and we’ve been together for almost a year and a half now and her daughter is 6. I have a 4 year old son with another woman so it’s not like this is me jumping into being a parent. My fiancées daughter has been getting worse and worse with attitude and my fiancée hasn’t been doing anything until this last week taking privileges away. Well last night the daughter was screaming at her mom and throwing a tantrum and I had enough and I gently swatted her mouth, told her to stop talking to her mother like that, and tucked her into bed as it was bed time. Today she was to go to her dads for the weekend and he is outraged making threats against me and (what’s funny to me is he isn’t even a big part of her life and complains and always gives her back early) and wants to get police and courts involved. I guess my question is to what extent is he going to be able to do anything and would I be able to counter and/or sue for anything if he actually follows through with police and court? I’m the sole income earner in the household and missing work dents my check too much and if he gets me in court it’s going to hurt the household which is where the daughter primarily is. 

Update:

Edit: New info came to light and he mentioned a PO against me and court for my fiancée so please answer according to this new information 

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    F-NAW!

    Idc even is she gives you permission hrslf 

    thr is nevah a good reason to punish sm1

    ls's child this isn't the old days anymr 

    Sparky °,°

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  • 1 month ago

    Course you did. Trolls always have these problems 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Troll, troll, troll.

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  • Rick
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    You`re in a very complex and uncomfortable position.  You really are damned if you do and damned if you don`t.  First off, don`t physically punish any kids.  It really is a lose, lose for you, plus it doesn`t really work.  At the most, maybe a gentle swat on the butt, just to get their attention.  That`s about all you can get away with in your situation.  Use other forms of punishments.  TV privileges, standing in a corner, grounding, stuff like that.  You and your fiancée really need to talk about this so you are both absolutely on the same page.  She is in a difficult place too.  If I were you, I`d talk to her biological father, just to clear the air.  Explain that you`re kind of between a rock and a hard place and don`t have a lot of experience with it.  Mostly for political reasons, apologize for having maybe over-reacted (only a very little bit) to what had happened.  He most likely resents you, so you have to be very sincere.  Choose your words well and really listen to what he has to say.  Let him know that you are not trying to replace him.  Compliment his daughter as much as you can, but honestly.  Not too honestly!  It might be really productive, after everybody getting on the same page, if you guys have a family meeting with the three of you.  You, your fiancée and her ex.  Then, maybe you can all talk to your soon to be step-daughter, so you can all be on the same page.  I wish you a lot of luck because you`re going to need it.  :  )

    • Morgan1 month agoReport

      See that’s the thing is I resorted to a tap to the mouth after all the things we’ve taken away hasn’t worked. The girls father hasn’t been liked me since I got with my fiancée he’s just goin a vendetta against me 

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  • martin
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    The mother of that problem child must call her ex-husband and tell him what's going on.

    • Morgan1 month agoReport

      They communicate well but she grows tired of his threats against me constantly 

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