Been married for 9 months and still haven't had sex?

me (26)  and my wife Lucy (24) have been married for 9 months, we dated for 3 and a half years before marriage, and we have never had sex, she is a Christian girl and she wanted to wait until marriage,  I had sex with a previous girlfriend before her,  but when I met Lucy, I felt something really special with her.. I fell in love with her and when she told me she wanted to wait until marriage, it didn't phase me at all because I knew I wanted to marry her.  We got married in October last year, and we have not had sex yet. Everytime we get close to doing something sexual she always has some excuse like she's not ready or it's not time, or my favourite "maybe tomorrow" and she's been saying maybe tomorrow for months now 


UPDATE, since I posted this we have finally had sex. We talked about it and  Turns out she was just scared about doing it for the first time, she was scared of the pain or that she might not be good sexually 

36 Answers

  • 3 months ago

    1st Why would you get married if you want sex?  Getting married is the number 1 way to get less or no sex.

    2nd Why would you marry a woman that doesn't give it up?

    You sound like the perfect beta male.  No woman is a 24 year old virgin.  You are being played.  Dude your gonna be divorced raped before you even know what happened and you never even got to pound it also it is likely other men are pounding it daily.

  • 3 months ago

    I find some of these responses disturbing and wrong. Hopefully you don't take the majority of them to heart. Your wife clearly has an issue and she is WORTH IT for you both to find her the help she needs. Counseling, etc. Maybe she's dealing with some form of trauma.  Good luck

  • 3 months ago

    DIVORCE NOW.................................

  • 3 months ago

    Time for divorce. I'll be your next wife:) 

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  • 3 months ago

    Women have the highest sex drive during ovulation--halfway between their periods. If you know when that is, romance her, give her foreplay, and she should be putty in your hands.  Otherwise, run, don't walk to marriage counseling. Depending on your state, you may be eligible for an annulment.

  • 3 months ago

    To me it's been pretty standard that a wife's duty to have sex is a must in a well conceived marriage and cannot survive without it. I only know of a very few marriages that worked on 'platonic' level.  She must be prodded to either start or seek psychological help.

  • Cathy
    Lv 5
    3 months ago

    She probably has an STD and does not want to give it to you.  Divorce her and find a decent woman

    Source(s): Michelle Obama and his husband
  • Helen
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    Why are you trying to force her into something she blatantly doesn't want?

    Clearly she's either asexual, a lesbian, or she just isn't attracted to you.

    Your mistake was assuming marriage would change anything.

    Divorce and find someone who wants you the way you deserve.

  • 3 months ago

    You need to confront her that she did make you wait till married - you married and she has not kept her word.  You have showed your commitment to her which is honorable but now she dishonors you by refusing you.  If she will not take counseling with you then be glad you really loved this woman who has not loved you.  And without counseling - you had better end this marriage.  She may have a deep dark secret - such as her father having incest with her from her early days...  this can make sex repulsive to a woman.  Should she concent - then go really slow and build her trust.

  • A
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    You have been fooled, see a couples therapist,  it does not mean she does not love you but something is wrong here

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