Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

My father-in-law called me 'Lazy Stacey' is that offensive?

My husband and I have been married for 7 months. I really got a long with his parents before we got married. After, we didn't see them as much. My father-in-law came to visit us over the weekend and it had been 3 months since we him. My husband works full-time and earns a good income in which he is able to provide for both of us and our expanding family - yes, I am pregnant. I had a job before getting married and I saved up a lot of money just incase but our finances are good. We invited my father-in-law to visit to tell him that we are expecting. Everything was great until he asked me about my job and my husband told him that I didn't have to work, that we both wanted me to stay at home and take care of the kids. That has always been a dream of mine to have family and take care of them. However my father-in-law was shocked then looked at me and called me Lazy Stacey (My name is not Stacey btw). We didn't share the news that we were expecting and he found a way to leave early and seemed disgusted. 

Why is he reacting this way?

25 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    sorry but i kinda agree with him. you can stay home on maternity leave. but you cannot stay home until the kids are 18. no. you need to be more independent and earn money too. i'm sure it'd be a great help, even if it's just money for yourself. idc if your husband has a "good job". he could lose it in a second.

  • 1 month ago

    Yes! That is incredibly offensive and I am so sorry he treated you that way. If becoming a stay at home is what would make you happy you should do it, and don't worry what others think about it. If you want, maybe you and your husband could talk to your father in law and try to explain why you becoming a stay at home mom would make you and your husband happy. Congrats on your baby, and good luck :)

  • 1 month ago

    Your FIL''s thoughts are irrelevant, so do not allow him into your mind space.

    Your husband needs to defend you and  scold his father for calling you lazy.

    Maybe FIL thinks you at taking advantage of his son and if his son manned up, FIL would have been told that you both decided that you would be a stay at home mom.

  • 1 month ago

    He is probably worried for his son and whether it will be too much stress on your relationship and his health. Does you husband have to work long hours? Is his job physical or is it an office type job? If he has to work a ridiculous amount of hours at his job to provide for the family, I would say I can see your father in laws concerns.

    Should he have called you Lazy Stacey, absolutely not! If he had concerns he should have brought them up like a responsible adult, he just threw a rude comment at you and your family and stormed out. 

    I would suggested to step back and reevaluate why he’d react that way, could it be that you pushed on being a stay at home mom and your husband is going along with it? Or could it be that your relationship with you in laws was never really that good, and you should rethink how to interact with them in the future?

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  • Cathy
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Yes that is offensive.  It is racist too

  • 1 month ago

    All women are lazy and not capable of doing much that's why they have to have affirmative action to get into universities and to get jobs that they aren't qualified for until they find a beta male to free ride.  You have a job its called living off of a man.  Its what most women do no matter if they are married or divorced and the corrupt divorce system makes sure no woman ever has to do anything after a divorce by giving her the jackpot ie the mans life earnings.

  • KTJoe
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Offensive comment yes; but smile got a baby on the way a wonderful marriage, being a stay at home wife/mother is beautiful. Next time father in law makes a comment, inform him that you (Love his son)".

  • 1 month ago

    I think your FIL is TRYING to instill HIS idea of marriage onto you and your husband. (If he thought beating up the wife on a regular basis is ok - would it be ok to insist his son treats you like that as well?) Someone should point out to him that it is NOT his marriage and he has no right to be so rude to you nor interfere like that. I stopped working once I was pregnant (on my wedding night!) I had morning sickness that bad. And I stayed at home until our THIRD child was 4 years old when I returned to the workforce. So much for 'grand dad' being loved. I wouldn't want someone like that around my children who disrespects me so much. Some people have one hell of a nerve thinking their opinion is so important that they meddle in other peoples' lives!! I DO NOT LIKE HIM ONE LITTLE BIT!!

  • boj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You FIL knows that in these crazy times it takes two incomes to finance a family successfully, meaning save for retirement/college for children, husband not work himself into physical/emotional/stress related ruin,  handle unexpected expenses, repairs, etc..... .  He was wrong to say that  but you shouldnt take offense to it,

  • 1 month ago

    I'm going to guess he's acting that way because he's a totalAss.

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