Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

I'm not feminist but Isn't it unfair that in most countries girls change their names after marriage & use husband's name & last name ?

It sounds like they are just property that got transferred from father's name to husband's nam

Update:

Why do women agree to do such things 

Update 2:

Men who say it's NOT unfair, would you agree to change your name? Use wife's name as middle name & her last name as ur last name? 

12 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 month ago

    Its traditional. Not everyone observes this. Ask your question in Society and Culture, not in Families and Relationships.

  • 1 month ago

    Traditionally it's always been a custom here in the US also. Only recently we've found it changing due to liberalism here.

  • 1 month ago

    1) Why aren't you a feminist? Feminism just promotes gender equality despite some of the misconceptions about it that exist online.

    2) The way I see it, if a woman wants to change her name that's great for her! If a woman chooses to keep her name that's great too! Women should be able to choose weather they want to keep or change their name without stigma or judgement. Just like a man can choose weather they want too keep or change their last name. I hope this helped. Good luck :)

  • 1 month ago

    You aren't a feminist but you are typical modern women, indoctrinated with feminism and oblivious to it. 

    First of all, men usually don't insist that you take their surname. Older men are OK if you add theirs to your maiden name, or keep your own, and younger man are even OK with both of you taking a new surname that you agree on together. 

    I personally, think two surnames are cumbersome, and taking my husband's surname is romantic. He is giving me his name. My husband offered me for both of us to take a new surname but I took his.A man cannot take the wife's surname that is just ridiculous and a very "ideologically possessed with feminism" castrating thing to do. Men do not take their wife's name and they don't join her clan, she joins his. With thinking like that, your first husband will be a beta, but hopefully, you will learn from your starter marriage and after you divorce the beta, you can then mary a manly and assertive man.

    Personally, I feel it's a great honour that my husband gave me his name and made me part of his clan. Women marry across and up and I married way above my station. (In every way, on every level of analysis) Most women from my world never even meet men from my husband's world, their paths simply never cross.

    If you want to be as indoctrinated by feminism as you are, you should be prepared to settle for a beta, this means marrying down, and no women will ever be happy marrying down. One of the best feelings in the world for me is being my husband's missus but he is a high-value man. I admire him and I am proud of him. I'll just stop here, I don't want to confuse you more than you already are.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 1 month ago

    You don't include how it affects your life. If you have a problem with a particular person about it (e.g. you are about to get married), then discuss it with them. I wouldn't worry too much about whether other people's decisions are "unfair" or not.

  • 1 month ago

    Do you also think it's "unfair" that men are the ones asking out, proposing marriage, providing, leading etc? 

  • 1 month ago

    In the USA it is becoming increasingly uncommon for women to change their names upon marriage. As the average age of a bride here is now nearly 28, many have established careers and made a name for themselves with their own name and don't feel it advantageous to legally change it. Having kids in school can complicate it though. That's a big reason many women do still change their names... so that the whole tribe has the same last name. 

  • 1 month ago

    It's not unfair. Legally you don't have to, or the husband can take your name. Quit making an issue out of nothing.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I'm not seeing where this is or isn't "fair."  I didn't take my husband's name professionally.  I use my maiden name.  I use his name socially, and that is my choice, and that is my legal identity.

    I don't know how it's fair or unfair to anyone.

    Don't want to be seen as your husband's property?  Then keep your name.  It's all about individual choice.  When you get the marriage license you are asked what name you will use.  It's your choice.

    Not all women use their maiden name as their middle name.  Not all women chose to hyphenate.

    Our children have my husband's last name.  What name do your children use?

  • 1 month ago

    unfair- how so?  The whole name and property argument is a FEMINIST story.  They agree to do such things because that is what they want to do or do not object to it.

    Haveing multiply last names in a family is a problem.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.