Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

How do I let go and move on? ?

My husband and I are both 29 and we have been married for two years. I overheard him say to his friend he hasn’t been faithful our entire marriage. Throughout the two years he had cheated on me with so many different women on dating apps that I lost count. He finally got tired of my anger and tears and left two weeks ago to “go on vacation”. He returns July 8th but he now says he wAnts a divorce. During the time he was gone I found out even more about him. A girl wrote me on Facebook stating she was pregnant (but would be getting an abortion) and have me details of their sexual encounters at hotels and even IN MY CAR! We don’t have kids together but I should mention thAt I found out he had a girl pregnant (she actually kept the baby) two months after our marriage. This is my first real breakup and despite everything I’m still in love with him. But I know his drug usage (cocaine) and sexual addiction, some with women I know, is not good for me or my career.  But I still can’t help but think it’s my fault. 

He told me I was too toxic and he just wanted a divorce. He is saying this because one day he took my car and didn’t come back until the next morning. I called the cops and reported it stolen after trying numerous times to get him to bring it back to me. He says that me doing that shows him that I’m toxic and that I just want him to go to jail. I just need to know how to move on. I thought he loved me but I just thought he had issues. Please help 

13 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You get into counseling and work with a professional. None of this angst is going to just go away. You're going to have to work at it. Also, trade your car in something else so you don't have to think about it every time you get behind the wheel. 

  • 1 month ago

    **** that guy. He cheated on you. He is worthless and you deserve so much better. Please see that you are and probably always will be so much better than him. Find someone that will be loyal to you. Find someone that will cherish your every day. Or hell, if you are happy being single, there is nothing wrong with that at all. Please try to find happiness without that excuse of a man. If you are so inclined to find someone to love, there are plenty of other men out there that would be more than happy to accept you and have you for a lover. Trust me. That guy is a pig and you shouldn't feel like any of that was your fault. It was no one's fault but HIS. HE is the one who CHOSE to cheat on you. There is no excuse for that. Quite frankly, anyone who cheats on their spouse should be crucified. The world loves you and is willing to accept you just the way you are. Move on and find happiness. You deserve it.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Something must have gone way wrong in your childhood for you to have such low self esteem.  In fact, it sounds like you don't have any at all.   This is both sad and scary, because when you start having those silly thoughts that this is your fault, that's completely illogical. 

    Give him his divorce and then get counseling.  You've definitely made some mistakes here, starting with the fact you married him.  Either you don't know how to recognize red flags, or else you saw them and ignored them.  Even worse, he's been lying and cheating the whole time.  YET YOU STAYED with him!  See what I'm saying?  This proves that, deep down, you don't think you deserve better.  Of course you do!  But you don't see that, and this is what you need to fix.  The problem is, most people can't do it on their own.  Therapy is the best gift you can give yourself. 

  • 1 month ago

    You're fortunate that you don't have any children with him. It's one thing that he's had affairs during your marriage but the drug use in conjunction with this should be a warning for you. He's a mistake that you don't need to make again. Leave him as soon as possible and don't look back. You could have a great life going forward withouy him.

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  • Happy
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Don’t know how this is even a question. It’s done. Move on period. Be happy there are no kids of your own to worry about. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I'm sorry about your husband taking you for granted. I hope he comes to his senses and realize how lucky he is to have you as a wife.

    I hope he takes responsibility for the children he helped to procreate. It's sad that so many kids are murdered/aborted because of people's lustful desire for premarital and extramarital sex .

    Why do so many women like your husband so much? Is he very funny? Or very tall? Or very fit?

  • 1 month ago

    You are always going to miss what MIGHT have been.  But if you accept that it is never going to happen that way then there is no longer anything to miss.  You have a chance to get away and potentially start again. If you are more careful this time you will soon forget the past.

  • Linda
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Some marriages are made in heaven and some like your marriage was made in hell. This man has been constantly cheating, currently got a girl pregnant, and wants out so I'd let him go because he's a nasty bit of work and the more you stay with him, things can only get worse from hereon. Get counseling to help strengthen you to find the strength to move on and go on and create a better life for yourself...God bless!

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Run and don't look back. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Don't worry.  It's always sunny in Trollville.  

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