I think my son (13) is gay?

My son Kyle (13) told me he is in love with a male classmate. What should I do? I'm not quite sure I agree with the whole gay thing, and I think he is too young to feel this way.


It's ok guys

Update 2:

I accept him

14 Answers

  • Prince
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    You should just let people evolve through their natural life stages as they do. Left alone most 13 year olds would probably experiment with their own gender just as most 18 year olds would experiment with the opposite sex. People these days want a definitive answer and to place a permanent label on people but it's an exercise in pointlessness. You don't need to know. Most people, if just left alone, would have stages of different types of sexuality throughout their lifetimes and bisexual swings sometimes; whereas, there have always been enough men sufficiently interested in impregnating those women who wish it, to keep the species going. Men should worry less about who fathers their children. People should accept babies as people and stop agonising over their paternity. And just leave people alone about what they get on sexually so long as it's consensual and not adults abusing children. A child and another child is not that. Better that adults stay out of such things.

  • 1 month ago

    Sometimes they just turn out that way.

    Don't blame yourself. Euthanize this one, and have another child.

    Good luck.

  • 1 month ago

    When I was 10 years old, I was interested in my sister's clothes, makeup, and nail polish. I was not abused by parents and had a good upbringing with no influencers. From that day forward, and now as an adult decades later, I know that I know I'm trans but chose not to transition. Also known by the term closeted transwoman. So when we are children and have these feelings without negative or influencing environment, you can be confident in their choices. If negative factors exist, your feelings may be influenced by other and counseling should help define their true feelings. 

  • abcdef
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    What would you do if he told you at 13 he was "in love" with a girl?  Since you "accept him" and presumably love him, you do the same thing as if he had told you he was in love with a girl.  13 is not too young to have romantic feelings.  

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  • 1 month ago

    Why do you say "agree"?  He's still your child.  Love conquers all.  Make sure he knows he's accepted no matter what.  

  • Sky
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Going way out on a limb and assuming your anonymous story is true for the sake of discussion, your duty as a parent is to love, accept, and respect your kid exactly as he is regardless of his sexual orientation.  At 13, by no means is he too young to know his sexual orientation and know which gender he's attracted to.  I found the opposite sex attractive when I was in kindergarten; when puberty hit, that attraction multiplied a hundred times.  What you should do is talk to him, ask questions, and LISTEN to him and what he has to say.  Assure him he can talk with you and ask any questions relating to love, romance, attraction, sex, etc. without any fear of embarrassment, shaming, ridicule, hostility, or punishment.  And don't tell us that you accept him; tell HIM.

  • 1 month ago

    Many 13 year olds are bisexual due to newly experienced adolescent hormones getting mixed up with close boyhood friendships. Ask him how he feels about boys and girls in general, not just this one boy. I was in love with my best friend in school, and although I really am gay, as was he, it turned out that what I felt for him was more brotherly than sexual.

  • 1 month ago

    Not sure you 'agree with the whole gay thing'? WTF does that mean, exactly?

  • 1 month ago

    Very many people go through this in adolescence. For lots of us it is a phase during which we experiment emotionally and/or sexually (not necessarily consciously). Not all, obviously. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but if he turns out gay in adulthood there is little or nothing you can do to change it one might think.

    Usually, when one has been through several generations as one gender, it can confuse when one finds oneself in the other one suddenly. 

    Most religious movements discourage is since it discourages procreation, so fewer to follow the religion. Ditto abortion and contraception.

    Just be a loving and supportive dad, whether he follows you own convictions, etc. or not!

    Good Luck to you both!

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You think he's too young to fall in love at 13?! Of course he's not too young to fall in love at 13. Were you never 13? Did you somehow forget how powerful falling in love feels at 13? Maybe you're thinking, "Oh, that's not really love." But, yes, it is. You know it is. Arguing otherwise is sophistry.

    What do you do? Believe him. Love him. Treat him like a human being. And don't put the "gay" label on it or call it "the whole gay thing" since that's not the label he's putting on it. He's not saying he's gay. He's saying he's in love with a male classmate. So don't go trying to make these feelings he's having who he is when that's not what he's telling you.

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