Can't start looking at women breast (ironic process theory), should I seek help?


I work in the medical field. A few months ago, I was talking to one of my coworkers and, at some point during our conversation, she covered her cleavage with her hand. I wasn't looking at her breast at all, nor even thinking about it, but it still made me feel bad since I thought I made her feel uncomfortable. Looking back at it, I think she just covered this area with her hand as a mark of respect because her cleavage was showing and we we're physically close, nothing to do with where I was looking.

Anyway, since that event, something in my brain happened and I've been constantly trying to maintain eye contact and not look at women's boobs, but I can't seem to be able to. The fact that my brain is so focused trying hard not to look down on women's breasts makes it even more likely for me to glance, and it makes me feel so bad afterwards when they notice it. Even when I try to stare in between their eyes, I feel like women can sense that I am trying very hard not to look down, as if they can tell that my focus is down even though my eyes are up. I have that constant fear of making eye contact with a female because I know I won't be able to maintain it and will make her feel uncomfortable. 

I've never had that problem ever before and it's affecting every aspect of my social life. I would do anything to get rid of it. I feel like I'm caught in a vicious circle. Is there anything I can do to solve this issue? Should I seek help? From who?


1 Answer

  • 4 weeks ago
    Favourite answer

    It sounds as though you are a normal person to me. I think the real problem is that you placed so much emphasis on not looking at a woman's anatomy that your brain wants to do the exact opposite. It's like being up very high. Someone will say "don't look down". What do you think the first thing you are going to do is? Your brain will be asking why? And so you look. It is just how the human mind works. I also think your fear of being in a negative light by these women plays a role. I don't think most normal women are bothered by a guy taking a look but they certainly don't want you leering at them for a long period of time. Women like to be noticed by the opposite sex even the married ones as long as it goes no further. If you find that this continues I would suggest either talking to a female that knows you and getting her input or speaking to a psychiatrist.

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