Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 weeks ago

I hate my mother for what she has done to me and who she has become, how do I learn to cope with this reality? ?

My mother and I never really had a great relationship when I was growing up. I’d classify her as the Equivalent of being furniture or otherwise just being “there” but not actually a huge part of my life, we did live together but most of my time was spent with my dad. 

My mom was always abusive to my dad mentally, verbally and physically but my dad kept it from me all these years. And last year I found out my mom was cheating on my dad with her supervisor at work, when I told him my dad had enough and finally divorced my mom.  I always had a premonition that she was insane and over the last year I’ve seen enough from her to be certain that she suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. 

And since my dad has left, my mother has dumped her deep hatred of men onto my head.

She’s punched me in the face, embarrassed me on Facebook, and has displayed narcissistic behavior towards me on a regular basis. And I’m seriously considering cutting ties with her when I move out. I’ve had enough of her and her abuse. How do I learn to cope with this reality? 

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 3 weeks ago
    Favourite answer

    You and dad obviously get on.  Why not move out and move in with him instead?  Ask him first, of course.  don't have a big row with your mother.  You stayed with her when he left and once you aren't living with her, you may feel a bit differently about her.  Whether or not she cheated is not YOUR concern.  It's none of your business.  It's between your parents.  They obviously weren't happy together so maybe he was cheating too but you didn't know about it??  If you are old enough, move out.  Dad's place is the obvious first port of call for you.  If you can't join him even temporarily, find yourself a lodging somewhere that you can afford, make your plans and then go.

  • 3 weeks ago

    If this is the case, I would try to avoid the word "hate" with her. You might hate her behaviour and get angry sometimes (who could blame you?!), but underneath that behaviour is the person who laboured for nine months with you and, one assumes, cared for you when you were a small child at least. Punching you own child in the face is extraordinary behaviour, and one might think she would need some help with anger management or whatever. Are you able to talk with her own parents about it, or any other relatives? Her doctor - or yours? 

    People who are feeling confident and secure and have self respect don't feel a need to call people names, criticise, bully, shout, etc.

    Is it possible that her own mother was this way when she was around the age you are now? In a quiet period take her back to when she was your age and how she felt when treated unkindly by her parents. Do this sincerely with genuine interest - probably best not during an argument. That said, it might perhaps be effective when emotions are high. It is usually better to ask questions than to say things.

    Good Luck!

     

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    If you are under 18 years old, go to Human Services and tell them about this. They are most likely to remove you from her.  What you have described is not legal.

    Pray to GOD and ask GOD for help and understanding. With GOD comes LOVE.  Atheists cannot feel anymore that each of their own LUST, for just themselves. 

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.