Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 4 weeks ago

Why didn't I feel grief when my grandmother died and my uncle has cancer and may pass on?

I cried at my grannies funeral but I was going try a depression and was just thinking about how alone I am and she wouldnt see me married and I'll never get married.

I don't know if I was grieved for her death or not because I don't feel like I 'miss her' although she used to call me everyday. I think about her often though and I dream about her, wishing she was still around and somehow she doesn't seem like she's dead to me. I feel she is around. I should have seen her more when she was alive but I had alot of issues and depression and perhaps laziness and never made and effort despite her calling me each day. We wouldn't have long conversations and she would ask all the questions and it took me a long time to ask how she was etc.

My dads brother has cancer stage 4 it doesnt look promising. We cant see him because of lockdown and health concerns. They took him to the hospital today but had to stop over for something by our house. I didn't want to see him and I felt awkward. He was okay with me to my face and growing up I used to stay with him and he was okay.  But the last 2 years I was upset with him for manipulating a situation which may or may not have been to my advantage.

I tried talking to him about it and he ignored me and I got ill feelings about him. His ex daughter in law told me he said I'm not mentally stable and she should stay away. She lied about many things but i somehow believe this

Then he got diagnosed with cancer and I just dnt feel any connection 


His wife and daughters I've come to realize weren't looking out for my best interests and they never valued me as a person. I just feel awkward also because there's not real relationship except my dad tying together.

Off course I wish he recovers and I dnt want his family to suffer and if they had to tell me to help in someway I would.

But other than that I dont feel the urge to speak to him or talk to him or comfort his wife or daughters and be there when there's no effort or relationship.

6 Answers

  • You're probably just going through a stage of denial.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Actually, that seems pretty normal and common.

    Many don't care much about their grandparents.

    Some do, some don't. Same with aunts and uncles.

  • Papa-G
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    These articles discuss what to expect when a loved one dies, as well as practical steps you can take to cope with your grief.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Everyone grieves differently.  There isn't a "proper" way to grieve.  If you don't want to talk to your uncle and his family, then don't.  However, talking with your uncle may help resolve some deep seeded feelings.  The choice is yours.

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  • LAN
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    You are probably just dead inside.

  • martin
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    You apparently feel guilty about your feelings toward your uncle.  You should not strain yourself, but do only enough to make yourself comfortable in your judgement.

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