Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Someone help me let him down😖?

So I've been dating a guy for a two days now, and something just isn't right. Like it feels wrong and I've already seen red flags I'm not comfortable with. Like I asked him out on a date, just a date, for next Tuesday, and he already started calling me his gf. Making things official before we could go over things or even on a real date. He also asked if I had an Asian kink bc he's Filipino and I said lol no but I mentioned it was only going to be a romantic relationship since he's 18 and I'm 16. Nothing sexual, no cases caught. Most alarming, he said if I dated him, we'd have to be together for at least a year bc he wanted things to last. I thought I was ready to make the huge commitment, but him saying we have to be together for at least a year and then declare I was already his gf makes me feel like I got trapped in some sort of contract. He's a really nice guy and I love spending time with him, I'm just realizing that I don't want to be in an actual relationship with him, but I don't know how I'm supposed to let him down. Or I at least need help telling him that he can't declare us dating before an actual date... 

3 Answers

  • g
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    How are you dating him if youve not been on a date yet? And really, you feel trapped after two days?? This sounds like too much drama - you can simply say no, break off the date you made and decline any future dates. Done.

    You dont have to make any promises of a future or anything else. At this point you dont even know him OR if you like him. Learn to laugh and not see everything as life or death, all or nothing. That kind of drama will grind you down and I promise you, you deserve better.

  • 1 month ago

    Just hit him with something like "I really do like you a lot, enough to make a commitment but you're kind of forcing the issue a little bit by saying we have to be together for a minimum of one year. Also, we should let this all breathe a little bit, I don't think we're quite at official boyfriend/girlfriend status, we should give this some time before leaning into this so heavily" Or some version of the above. The point is that you need to stand your ground and make yourself clear from the start, or else the relationship will have a dynamic of him controlling a lot of what happens.

  • Kieth
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Two days? Just tell him it's not working for you. It's not like you are living together, picking out wedding colors and making up names for your children. Just end it and move on. Oh, and vote for Kane.

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