Ya-Hoo
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Ya-Hoo asked in Social SciencePsychology · 4 weeks ago

How to stop seeking validation from people that treat you like garbage?

For some reason I have a bad habit of trying to please people that ignore me, insult me, refuse to give me the time of day, put me last on their list of things to do etc. I guess it's like a game to try and win, but logically it doesn't make sense. Some people just walk all over everyone. There's a term for it sociopath. I should just walk away and try and find people that will treat me with the same respect I will give them, but for some reason I feel like I'm stuck in an endless highschool popularity contest and there's always that urge to be part of the "in-crowd".

7 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    There's a statement in The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius that strikes me as funny. "Expecting a bad man to do good is madness." He's talking about why we get angry, and he's saying how dumb it is to be endlessly disappointed with people.

    A lot of people say this advice is good - 

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VW5v6PQ5PEc

    Youtube thumbnail

    &t=24s

  • 4 weeks ago

    You're not obligated to please anyone who doesn't appreciate you. Stay away from those people and instead surround yourself with positive people. If someone doesn't like you, that's their problem, not yours.

  • 4 weeks ago

    You are not obliged to send regards to somebody that is not your best aquaitance except you have from  work things to say .

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Please don't start dating anyone.  You're susceptible to abusive relationships and domestic violence.  Unfortunately, you'll naturally end up choosing a partner who is abusive toward you.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    I never wanted to be part of the 'in crowd', they were always very selfish and boring people.  I'd much rather have 1 or 2 decent friends than 30 popular ones.  Most popular kids, don't have people they can rely on.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    It's kind of like winning the lottery. It's tempting, but you know you're not going to win. A lot of people want to get along with people and not have any issues, but sometimes others just won't have it. It's best to just count your losses by accepting it's not worth your effort and move on. Don't be mean or hateful, just ignore them.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    It's okay. Keep on doing good to them. Even if it kills you.

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