Would you confront someone about mild assault years later? ?

Hello...so I'm just looking for some advice really. Years ago at high school (about 14 years old) I was "mildly assaulted" by some guy in the same class in public in the street when he grabbed my vagina. At the time I brushed it off and did my best to forget it but it affected me way more than I thought, which might sound silly in the light of more serious things. Years later I now would like to confront him (not to do anything about it but just to let bin know it was wrong) as I have access his contact details on facebook and wondered how much of a terrible idea this is? Thank you so much for any advice you could offer x 

14 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    No. They know what they did. I'd go to a counselor.

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    He probably doesn't even remember it.  You need to let it go and move on.

  • 3 weeks ago

    I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of my attention. He is a loser. You need to work through the trauma on your own and perhaps with a therapist. I don't talk to people who assaulted me nor do I feel there is anything to confront. He isn't sorry he did it men like that enjoy humiliating women.

  • 3 weeks ago

    I could not imagine just grabbing a woman in public, even if I was dating her.  Once at a bar being a little drunk, and trying to pick up a woman, which I did, she touched me, and I touched her.  But we had been kissing for a while before then.   Obviously you are in somewhat contact still with this man.  And what he did was wrong.  I am not sure how to confront him,  where you are safe.  You might want to use a mutual friend, or two, and confront him, accusing him what he did.  Of course, most likely he will deny it.  If he does, say it is too late to report you to police, but I am going to investigate with others to see if you did this to anyone else. And if you are still doing it, or did it in the last 3-5 yrs,  and if you have will help them, report you. Or you can just say with 2 of your friends, I need to confront you about what you did to me, for me. You assaulted me, and it was crappy.  You were not a good person then. You hurt me, when you grabbed me.  It still hurts today.  I needed you to know I remember what you did.  Now I am hoping you are seeing a therapist.  If you have not yet, I would do so, right away.  You might want to confront him, but might not be ready to handle doing so, or handle his response. Talking to a professional, can help you move on, confronting him or not.  Good luck. 

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  • 3 weeks ago

    Let it go, rise above. Sounds like a real piece of crap. You are so much better then that. Guys like that always get theirs in the end. Besides he probably hasn't changed and you could open yourself to more abuse. It's better if the little man goes on thinking about what he can't have....and why. Good luck stay positive.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Ask yourself why you feel this is necessary so many years later. I know that victimhood is now fashionable but if you're thinking someone that coarse might apologize you're probably dreaming. The most probably outcome of contacting him with this is that you'll win yourself a social media enemy. It wouldn't be worth it in most people's estimation. 

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Your vagina is an internal organ, so he somehow got your underwear off and put his fingers inside you in order to grab you.  This is clearly a sexual assault.

    Would I confront anyone about something that happened 14 years ago?  No.  If it still haunted me after 14 years, would I go to counseling?  Yes.

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Make sure that you do it privately to him.

    He was out of order but he may well have just viewed it as teenage experimentation 

  • 4 weeks ago

    It’s taken you time to really reflect on how that terrible situation made you feel at the time and has affected you since. If you feel in a strong and secure position within yourself to confront something that has stuck with you all these years then yes I’d address it. You’re allowed to speak about your experience, just know you may not get the answer you want. If so, move forward and don’t let it drag you down x

  • Cisco
    Lv 4
    4 weeks ago

    Let it go, it's not like he was fingering you, he did somthing stupid as a teen I'm sure he regrets it now. 

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