Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

I am 14 and my mom invades my privacy. Should I say something?

I'm absolutely pissed. She watches every move I make online and found my Instagram stories when snooping in my phone about how I hate my sister, my parents, and my whole toxic family. She says she has a "right" to until I am of 18 years of age. There's nothing really bad on my phone - I don't talk to strangers, I just complain about my parents. I swear a lot, and she thinks this is "rebellious" and "wrong." I disagree with her political opinions and I think she saw me posting about BLM and my bisexuality. She has no regard for my feelings and "doesn't understand why I'm acting this way." The reason I hide things from her is because of her behaviour. I don't know what to do and I'm trapped.

Update:

Edit: For everyone saying she has a right to, this is not the half of it. At the rate my mother is going, she is bordering on helicopter parenting.

Update 2:

Edit 2: When I say toxic family, I don't mean I'm whining about her snooping. My family is genuinely extremely toxic and I oppose their political views. They are almost all racist/homophobic in one way or another.

Update 3:

I'd also like to clarify that I am NOT talking to strangers online. I also asked this question on Quora and several people classified me as "a naive 14 year old" because they automatically assumed I was mad at my mom because she caught me talking to creeps online but that is not the case. Please stop assuming I am incredibly stupid and know nothing about the online world. Some people on the internet forget what being a teen was like and keep trying to get me to understand why this is OK. 

Update 4:

ALSO my account is private with only close friends or mutuals following me :/

10 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Find a smarter way to do things. Don’t let her snoop.

  • Edna
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If you don't want your mom to find and read your stories on Instagram or on your phone about your "toxic" family, then delete your stories.

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You need to password protect you phone.

  • 2 months ago

    That is why I am so happy I am no long 14 years old.  Can't you see that by posting it on Instagram it is already reaching anyone that is out there.  So everybody except your mom can know about it?  It is hilarious you think your mother is invading your not private instagram.  Don't worry it is because you are 14, this veil was over my eyes at your age, as well.  So every employer you would have ever had now knows about your BLM sexual phase.  And, now not only instagram, but also Yahoo.  Will you get off the stage please.  Don't worry because nobody really even cares what you 14 years old have to say anyway.  Learn to talk.  And that means learn to say something that won't give the listener a heart attack.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i would stop writing about your parents if you dont want them snooping

  • 2 months ago

    your'e right to be annoyed don't worry it's normal 

  • 2 months ago

    If she's paying the phone bill, and if you're under 18, she's responsible for your well-being and many times, for your actions and behaviors.  And she has the right to snoop into the phone if she's paying the bill.  It's just the way it goes.  You're going to monitor your kids too (if you have any).  

    Oh i know, you're sitting there thinking "no i won't". but you will, believe it.

  • 2 months ago

    Print out the post you just wrote to us, sit down with your mother, tell her how Yahoo Answers works and then ask her to read your post and comment on it. If you approach this calmly and respectfully in a conversation like a mature, independent person, she's more likely to treat you like one. Let her read the post and ask her what she thinks. Tell her you're trying to be respectful of her concerns and still have some basic privacy and independence, and see how she responds.

  • 2 months ago

    There's nothing wrong with that. She has the right to monitor you and should, for your safety.

  • GF
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    She is correct and is responsible for what you do. She has every right to monitor your online activities and everything else you do.

    She could activate "Parental Controls" that would not allow any app to be installed to your device without her permission. 

    She could link your phone to hers and look at all of your text, calls and activities you do on your phone (because in reality, it is her phone)

    She owns you and everything you think is yours, including your freedoms 

    Your parents basically own you.until you turn 18

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