Anonymous asked in Society & CultureHolidaysRamadan · 6 months ago

Ramadan: As a chaste virgin, I only want to marry a chaste virgin. Am I wrong?

I am a 25 year old virgin. I chose to remain a virgin because of Islam and personal reasons. 

I also believe that it is my right to marry a chaste virgin. I worked soooo hard to stay like this (it isn’t easy since I live in a VERY HIGHLY sexualized society). Because of all my hard work and sacrifices, I CANNOT marry a non virgin. I tried overcoming this thinking.  But in my heart, I KNOW that I will never be ok with the fact that I made this huge sacrifice, while my spouse already had thier fun and then simply asked Allah for forgiveness . I don’t care how many times they repent, it will always be in my heart that they didn’t wait for marriage while I waited my whole life for them :/  Just thinking about this makes me so depressed and angry.

Am I wrong??

10 Answers

  • 5 months ago

    No, you are not wrong. you are right and should seek only a virgin. But becareful, these days "virgin" doesn't mean chaste. Women have oral and anal sex and yet still claim to be virgins because they didn't have vaginal sex. So, you want a chaste woman, a woman has not had any sexual experience of any kind or haram relationship.

    Allay says to marry the single among you.

    Quran 24:32

    And marry the UNMARRIED among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.

    There is also a long hadith where a man married a woman and told the Prophet about it. The Prophet asked him if he married a single girl, and he replied "no, a previously married one", so the Prophet asked him why he did not marry a single girl. He answered it was because his father died and left behind young daughters (that he has to look after now), so he needed someone older who could look after them (his sisters).

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    wrong prophet's wives marry him even though he was man slot. he had sex with more than 12 wives plus concubines. imagine being one of his wive.

    follow the sunnah.

  • 5 months ago

    You’re not wrong, but you’re in for disappointment. It’s highley unlikely that you’ll find a genuine virgin and even if you do, the odds are that they’re almost certainly lying.

  • 6 months ago

    You are not wrong.  If it is your preference, it is your preference.  However, we do live in a somewhat immoral society, where sex before marriage is glorified in Hollywood, and finding someone to love mutually and forever is not easy.  You might change your mind when you find it very difficult to find someone who is a virgin AND you love her too.  You might have to change your mind at some point, just to find love.  It's also very possible - probably that some girls had in mind to wait but they were talked into it, persuaded and they didn't want to lose the guy who pretended to love them.  Some may have thought they would be with that guy forever and then he dumped them. Try to ease up on your beliefs.  Perfection is virtually impossible.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Marry someone who is a virgin if you want to. But it’s really not a big deal. You need to relax. Sometimes it’s best if one or the other person isn’t a virgin because if you’re experienced you will enjoy a good sex life. You don’t know how many Muslims have terrible sex lives. A lot. But my advice is for you to enjoy being young, live your life, travel and just enjoy your 20s. Marriage and children are a LOT of responsibility. Think about it when you are 30. Remember you will be spending 40+ years with your husband/wife and people end up bored with  each other and either divorce, cheat or live with each other unhappy. It’s also important that you date each other for two years at least and make sure you have the same values and things in common. When the relationship is in the ‘honeymoon phase’ (6 months - 1 year) people are showing their best sides. Some people don’t really show their real side until after some time. My friend married a guy after only knowing home for a year. He turned out to be controlling, emotionally abusive, stingy and he had a lot of debt that she didn’t know about. 

  • 6 months ago

    If you are looking for a husband you will never find a chaste virgin man, all men practice sex before marriage.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    sorry you wont find any virgins

  • 6 months ago

    I am myself 25 and a virgin guy, and I am thankful to God that He had protected me all along from all these temptations, and we really do live in hyper sexualized society nowadays where sex is easy to find.

    You have NOTHING to worry about and nothing to feel depressed or angry. It should be your right to marry someone who is a virgin, and on top of that remember you are protecting yourself from haraam purely for the sake of Allah rabul izza - not for anyone else.

    Learn to accept yourself, and know that this duniya is temporary. The everlasting life is of the Akhirah, the Jannah. Do not be hopeless, rather say Al hamdulillah that Allah love you so much that He protected you from haraam.

    Remember, it was not you that saved yourself from all these haraam, as much it was not me to remain still virgin and still going onwards. It is Allah rabul izza who has kept us protected.

    All these enjoyments of duniya [temporal world] will be fana [annihilated] or perished. Only those will be in peace in graves those who lived closely to Allah rabul izza, and in fear of Him and hope of meeting Him with a smile (:

    Do drop by my email to discuss or talk if you would like to:

    Wa salam

    301 False

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    perhaps you might have to marry someone younger than yourself.?? unless if 25 year old virgins are common where you live or if you get lucky, .... 

  • 6 months ago

    I think it is ok that you feel the way you do. Expecting same for same is not a bad thing. If you are chaste it is recommended that you marry a chaste person.

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