Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

My mother is the only one of her siblings to take care of their parents, should she speak up about her siblings neglecting their parents?

Her one sister hates her parents And the rare occasions when we see her she just insults them the whole time.  Her other sister who I do like sometimes helps out if in town but she’s too busy following her daughter around and traveling to exotic beaches with her friends. That one is also terrified of the coronavirus so won’t come near us until there’s a vaccine.  Meanwhile her brother is on a 24/7 vacation with a new girlfriend after getting divorced 2 years ago and this is the second girlfriend since the separation from his now ex-wife.  He’s retired so doesn’t have to work and his kids are with his ex a lot more of the time with two of the three adults.  Her other brother lives in a group home for autism and it will be up to my mother to look after him after her parents die. That brother of course cannot help it. 


So should she speak up about her siblings neglect of their parents (not counting the disabled brother). 


I should add that my parents both live in terror of my mom‘s mom. I don’t know why she’s a very sweet grandmother but my parents the fart of displeasing her terrifies them and makes their knees buckle. They’ve been this way all 31 years of my life. When I was a kid for example my dad never reached out to his family at holidays because he was too afraid it would displace his mother-in-law to be arriving late or leaving early. It’s a really weird / obsessive relationship my parents have with them.

Update 2:

A: no my parents are doing it because of their care of displeasing my maternal grandmother and their obsession with her.  

3 Answers

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    If her parents are on medicaid, the state will pay for full time care of them, so mom does not have to do it. If they qualify for medicaid get them on it. There is state help, mom needs to look into it. if grandpa is a veteran, he can get help from the VA. Yes, you MOm needs to talk to her siblings telling them they need to help.

  • 1 month ago

    This happens more often than you think.  My mom took care of her parents & her sister was never around to help.  Yet the sister was around to claim the belongings she wanted after the last parent died.  There are more dysfunctional families than you can imagine.  I come from one.  I survived childhood by the skin of my teeth but I am a functional senior citizen with out the hang ups of the past.

  • A
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Your mother is doing it because she wants to and maybe has more time, it is up to her if she wants to say something

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