Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 months ago

My husband and I are celebrating 25th Anniversary. But 20 years ago I had a month long affair which he never found out. Should I confess?

We had a rough patch 5 years into our marriage and that was when this indiscretion happened.  I moved on.  I've been wanting to confess to him but every time I tried I couldn't.  And this secret is killing me.

Update:

@Varsha: Our sons are his.  I used protection with this other guy

98 Answers

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  • 3 months ago

    Instead of confessing get him a young hot girl to have sex with for his birthday or something like that. 

  • 3 months ago

    Only if you wish to become divorced.  Best you take that to the grave.

  • 3 months ago

    The guilt you are feeling is the price you pay for cheating. It is your burden and, yes, that can be a heavy burden. (And that's because you are basically a good person with a conscience. A person without a conscience would cheat and just shrug it off.) However, by telling your husband, you would be passing that burden on to him and that isn't fair to him. He will learn that you aren't the person he thought you were. He may choose to divorce you. Your children will eventually learn that you had the affair and they won't look at you the same way. It's better to live with the guilt and keep your family intact for everyone's sake.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    No, don’t tell him. You would be doing it just to relieve you guilt. You need to pay the consequences yourself.  

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  • 3 months ago

    Do not confess. Just move on. It will not help anything and why hurt  him. Just be glad that the relationship ended and that you did not get pregnant.

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Your sins are between You & God,,KEEP it that way!

    Poking a stick in the spokes of a 25 year marriage especially 20 years AFTER the fact is just counter productive.

    Move on & sin no-more....  

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    I believe relationships are built on trust. So trust me when I say, don't tell him. If you do, you're going to destroy whatever ounce of happiness is left in the relationship. Besides that, he might have cheated on you in the past too, just move on with it and live the rest of your lives together, you already came 25 years

  • 4 months ago

    Have your best girlfriend there and tell him he can have sex with her while you watch as an apology to him.

  • KTJoe
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Maintaining a happy marriage vs confessing an affair which could destroy trust/marriage. At this point keep secret you held it this long, 20 years. Stress, wanting to confess is the price, you'll pay for adultery. 

  • 4 months ago

    Put the past behind you. You don't need to confess anything. Find some way to cope with the memory--but don't ruin the trust and the foundation of your marriage by telling him this NOW. All you will do will hurt him. If you're having problems with the memory, get therapy. Just keep your mouth shut now. No good will come of telling him.

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