Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 6 months ago

How do I explain to my children there is no Santa Claus and should I now or wait until December?

This Christmas they cannot be spoiled by me as they have been the past 8 years. I am out of work and my husband left me in February for his secretary. I refuse to let the kids around him or his family for what he did and so they aren't going to have the Santa gifts his mother used to leave. Meanwhile my Mom will help some but I will have nothing to give them.My 6 year old has already been writing to Santa asking him to punish her Dad for being a bad Dad but to bring us a new Dad. I can't date this soon. Meanwhile, gift wise they are not talking about it yet but come Christmas they are going to want lots of gifts. I cannot give that this year. They will all get probably 3 things and they will be from my mother. I don't want them to be devastated Christmas morning by this so I feel I need to tell them now. 


How do I explain Santa is not real and only for family's who can afford lots of gifts? They have lost their classmates (having to do school from home), they lost their father and paternal grandmother this year to our divorce thanks to their father's lust, they also lost my father to cancer in January. 2020 has been the worst of the worst. Plus my now ex-husband's older nephew committed suicide also in January. They only knew him a little but still were frightened by it. Sadly that is when I discovered my exes cheating (he was sending his slut lover texts about it when we left for the funeral)



So how do I explain to my children their is no Santa? Please advise me as I can't believe I am having to do this. 

5 Answers

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago
    Favourite answer

    I would just explain that because their father is such a horrible man you cannot afford to buy gifts and that Santa is the love of a Mommy and sometimes a Daddy. Explain it has to be both and because their Daddy has left and is so selfish the spirit of Santa is broken but that you will try to get them gifts on better years. Then validate their sadness over it. It will be a very bad Christmas for the whole world. 

  • Edna
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    You don't need to explain anything to your children about Santa Claus. Take a few of the gifts that your mother buys for them, and tell your children they're from Santa. Your children don't have to receive a ton of gifts from Santa.

    Just because your husband left you, that's no reason for you to not allow your kids  to be around his family. His family didn't cause your pain. 

    Stop bad-mouthing their father to your kids. It's a sad state of affairs if you know your 6-year-old kid is already writing letters to Santa, asking him to punish her Dad for being a bad Dad and to bring us a new Dad. Don't allow your kid to do that - keep your children out of the problems between you and your husband and don't  talk to your children about them.

    If you're as broke as you say you are, then contact a lawyer and obtain a temporary order of support for you and your children. Then, divorce your husband and sue him for child support.     

  • 6 months ago

    I wouldn’t connect Santa to dad being gone. Santa doesn’t bring the same amount of presents to different children all over the world. I would favor one of these options.

    1. Tell child there is not just one Santa. But Santa is the spirit of Christmas and giving. Now that your child is older he/she is old enough to be the spirit of Christmas for someone in greater need. Could you find a good deed that needs doing that could do as a family? Gift a shoe box gift for a child somewhere else in the world, volunteer somewhere, help out a disabled neighbor, etc.

    2. Continue to celebrate Santa, but say that many elves caught the Coronavirus so they fell behind this year, but we’re grateful for the effort they put in to ensure we had presents to open.

  • 6 months ago

    > I refuse to let the kids around him or his family

    If this is a true story, this is the part where you put aside your hurt feelings and do not interfere in the relationship your children have with their father and his family. This will only backfire on you in the years to come, "I wanted to be with you honey, but your mom was such a mean person she wouldn't let me."

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    The fact that your 6-year-old or any of your kids for that matter think what they do is an indictment on you for being a poor excuse for a mother in my opinion. You have used your children to get even with your husband and made him the bad father. I feel sorry for your children but not for you one bit. Don't misunderstand me. What he did was despicable but what you have done is far more damaging to your children than what he did to you.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.