Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Does my husband want me back or is he trying to have his cake and eat it too?

My husband left our home almost two months ago after a bad argument. He went out of state to live with his friend and told everyone he knew we were separated. When I finally got over being heartbroken and said ok let’s get a divorce he never wanted to go through with it. During this whole time he was talking to other women and having sex with them and not once tried to make it work with me. Now he tells me he doesn’t want a divorce and wants to work it out. When I said ok but things can’t go back to how they were before, he says don’t be negative. When I ask when he’s coming home he says he doesn’t know. He calls me and texts me every day but not all day like someone would with someone they loved. He says he wants to work it out but isn’t showing me any real effort or even telling me when he plans to come home. We haven’t even addressed him leaving in the first place. I am 28 and he is 30. We don’t have kids and basically all of our fights were over infidelity on his end. So now I am wondering is he just playing games or does he just not want to make the same mistakes so he’s just trying to move slow? 

50 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    He had to get some different stink on his face and hangdown if you know what I mean. Sounds like he wants to get your stink back on him too. Good luck with everything. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    A childless marriage count yourself lucky and cut the ropes with him. Get divorced and in time start a future relationship with someone who would appreciate you and treats you with care and respect.. And do so likewise mjust make sure you nip this in the put first. Good luck. 

  • Prince
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Your husband is a perfect example of why widowhood is preferable to divorce. Consider that.

  • 1 month ago

    Why would someone want cake if they couldn't eat it?

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  • 1 month ago

    It's pretty obvious he's playing games. And it's also obvious that he doesn't really care what you think or why. Cut your losses, dear, and get out of the marriage. It's not worth keeping. 

  • 1 month ago

    Most humans have other things to do than text each other all day.  I'd get fired for that... You know, boss wants me to actually do my job.

  • David
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    There's a lot of information in that question, and yet not nearly enough.  If he's the kind to cheat, he's going to keep cheating.  So you, as a wife, need to decide...

    Are you willing to be married to a man who is having sex with other women?

    If you are...

    Then you seem to be way too concerned about when he is coming back.  In case you haven't noticed, we are in the middle of a world-wide pandemic.  Unemployment, recession (soon to be DEPRESSION), people sick and (dead) all over the place...

    First things first.  Do you have a good, full-time job, outside of the home?  Does your husband have a good, full-time job, outside of his home?  You are asking him to come back to you, but that assumes that he could find a good job in your state, RIGHT NOW.  It might make more sense (especially when no kids are involved) for you to move to where he is.  Maybe he moves out of the place he's staying and the two of you rent a 2-bedroom apartment.

    It's interesting you say that you haven't addressed him leaving in the first place.  WHAT IS THERE TO ADDRESS?  He got plssed off, and he left.  No use in analyzing that now.  Unless you are one of those nightmare bltches that throws every g-d mistake in hubby's face for the rest of his life...even if those mistakes were 30 years ago and he has apologized (sincerely) a thousand times already.

    You also say "He calls me and texts me every day but not all day like someone would with someone they loved"  

    Holy crap.  I've got a great relationship with my girlfriend, the two of us are CRAZY about each other.  We call and text each other EVERY day.  If she were to call and text me all day, that would get ultra-annoying in much less than a week.  If I were to call and text HER all day, that would probably really get on her  If you love someone, you give them space to breathe.  You don't call them every 30 seconds.  You call them maybe once a day and spend 15 minutes 'catching up' on what has happened in the past 24 hours.  

    If you are so needy that you need his attention every second, 24/7, then it's no wonder that he seems to have mixed feelings about coming back quickly...

  • 1 month ago

    He'll never stop cheating on you so take a pass. Start dating other people.

  • 1 month ago

    If he does want you back (I doubt it), why on earth would you want to stay with such a dishonest man?

  • keerok
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Divorce. Great idea. Best solution. 

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