Role of a good housewife?

Before marriage i lived a life like a princess. My parents did every singlething for me to stay happy. I found a guy that i thought i loved, and got married ( i thought wow his a chef, and he'll do the cooking) so after dating for 4 year we got married, it was the most terrible decision id ever made in my life. My husband wanted a trophy wife. And before marriage we made things clear of what we expected from eachother. He wanted me to look good for him wear makeup, jewelry and do the housework, cook and cclean for him and sexually satisfy him in bed. I have a physical disability but i still have a part time job. We have a 2 year old daughter since birth she was looked after by her parents  and  no we didnt take her along with us after we shifted to our newhouse. Because i cant cook, clean, do the errands, and work outside and look after my daughter the same time. It makes me physically weak, my back gives in to a point where hospital stay becomes necessary. I love my daughter so much i cant image my life without her. But i do get it all done at the end.

So my husband works fulltime 5 days a weak and pays the mortage and the bills. And i save my money. He expectthat pros that the days his off from work he wants our daughter to stay over at our house, it becomes worser if i had a job that day. I try to explain him that i cant look after because of my back pain. Then he starts comparing me with other people, he thinks im not a good wife nor a mother.

Update:

There were some parts to the argument that i initiated divorce.

My question to all of you out there especially housewives. How do you view your role as a wife and a mother, is thier any tips you can give me.

21 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Lol.. They way people talk about divorce makes me wonder why they get married in the first place. That you can't even sit down and plan your life together is just sad.

    When the traditional expectations of marriage is replaced with unrealistic expectations from both sides, this is what happens..

    Marriage is a lot of work. People enter it with stupid expectations and that is why so many marriages fail.

    Anyway, the decision of what to do is yours and not the crowds.

  • 1 month ago

    I didn’t read all that noise but to answer your question: do all cooking and cleaning, take care of kids, oral and anal anytime he wants, never nag/complain. That’s the PERFECT wife. 

  • 1 month ago

    Every damn marriage mistake has a Emotional Price Tag  called Adjustments !  ... But a smart Lady can convert all problems into Happy Married Life ,  if determined to do so  :)

  • 1 month ago

    From what i read one think is really clear. You are absolutely confused and  it seems that u were raised  with confusing values. i Highly suggesting to start psychotherapy in order to help u clear some things. Dont rely on sites for answers because they will do more harm than good.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 1 month ago

    It sounds like you aren't holding up to the deal you agreed to. You entered into a shallow agreement of being a trophy wife and it appears that your shine isn't close to being what it was when you where on the mantle. With having a disability I am sure that you have not been able to exercise and probably aren't in the best of shape. You said you don't love him and apparently the feelings mutual, so since you're saving up hopefully you can prepare yourself for the next stage. 

    Dust yourself off and see how you can financially support yourself by using your mind instead of your body. You could be the hottest female in your part of town but you have to realize that age changes all of our looks. No matter how old you get you can still be a beautiful person, so as an adult I suggest ditching the attitude of what your parents did for you and focus on what you can do for yourself, the princess-diva thoughts need to vanish and please don't pass them on to your daughter.  

    Should you find yourself single and meet someone new don't go into as an agreement based on what you can do for him, go into the situation and think of how you can build together as a team.

  • Prince
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    It's your parents' fault you are stupid. They treated you like a princess yet failed to find you a husband who could afford servants to wait on you. You foolishly agreed to do the cooking and cleaning and that was basically agreeing to become a drudge: a servant for free. Then, on top of that, you additionally took a job outside the home, despite a bad back. And gave the man a child. Don't be this stupid with your daughter. Find her a husband rich enough to give her servants and have her mother move in also.

  • 1 month ago

    Every dude is different, and that is the trick when taking the plunge... making sure you're compatible. 

    Two people with completely different philosophies is a tough thing to balance out, but I imagine it's not impossible. 

    I would say divorce should be the last resort, but my perspective is very emotional since I'm 38 and have never had a real girlfriend.

  • 1 month ago

    It’s a hard one.you might have to divorce him.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Sorry you're going through all this, but you've made some very bad choices.  When you gave that list of things he expected from you before you got married, why on earth did you marry him?  Then you call it the biggest mistake you've ever made, yet you're still with him?  Worst of all, you got pregnant and now your little girl is the biggest victim of all.  There's nothing on earth worse than being abandoned by a mother. 

    I don't know what else to tell you, but you have got to find a way to get your daughter back.  There's a lot of options open to you, but you need to find a sane, older adult who can guide you on what these are.  And no, I'm not talking about that jerk you married.  

  • MissA
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you're literally doing nothing to raise your own child you actually are a bad mother, sorry.  Though FWIW your husband is  also a bad father, though it seems like he at least is trying to work on that.  But dumping her 100% of the time with the grandparents is essentially abandonment without filing the paperwork.

  • 1 month ago

    Role of good housewife is to file for divorce.. 

    what else women are good at? 

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.