Gf broke up with me under stress to “work on herself”?

We’ve known each other for 9 months, dating for 2. She was actually the one who pushed for the relationship and I caved. Things were great, hit a rough patch for a week. She also had some recent events that put lots of stress on her. Wanted to break up, says she can’t work on herself unless she’s alone. She keeps saying she loves me and even though I told her many times I can’t be friends with exes, still messages me and doesn’t want me completely out of her life. I want to continue our relationship and really it hurts to be “just friends” with exes, what should I do? 

43 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    I hate to say this but you got to moved on. The real reason why she told you that she has to "work on herself" is because she feels like she isn't putting any effort in the relationship. That's why she trying to improve herself to make herself a better partner in any relationship.

  • 2 months ago

    People who love you won't want to distance themselves from you. Quite the opposite. It sounds like she just doesn't have the guts to tell you to get lost. Believe when she says she wants distance. Don't be a fool. The reason is irrelevant.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    She is stringing you along. Cut all ties and communication immediately. Period.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Is her name Terese?

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  • L
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    If you really love her................back off until she's better.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    This is a tricky situation. It’s hard to get closure when someone is giving you hopes to get back. Also, as the relationship was short it might be hard to see the downsides.

    I am in a very similar situation but being the girl. He left me after only 3 months of an amazing relationship saying he needs to work on himself but wants to stay friends. Of course this isn’t possible when strong feelings are one sided, like in your and my case.

    So I would suggest you cut contact for now. This will make her realize what she’s missing and reconsider her decision. If you still give her the benefits of a boyfriend with no strings attached she won’t feel the difference.

    This time will also be good for you to heal and work on yourself. You could even try dating after a while. This has really helped me regain confidence in my attractiveness and see that there are other potential partners out there, even when I haven’t met anyone better than my ex. Make sure you are clear about your intentions with the new girl. Say you’re fresh out of a relationship and aren‘t looking for something serious.

    Once it’s been a few months your ex will probably reach out (let her do it, give her the time she asked for). Focus on rekindling with her and having a connection rather than getting back. She won’t want to out of the blue. If your connection reappears the relationship talk will come up. She was the one to break things off so she’s the one to fix them. Don’t try to fix what someone else broke. Show her how valuable you are and how strong and independent you were without her. Let attraction start to build slowly and try to win her over with caution, just as it was the first time.

    Whatever happens in the end, focusing on your needs will prepare you for a brighter future, with or without her.

    If you succeed to move on and she doesn’t come back, great for you. And if you do and she does come back, you’ll be able to set a standard for what you really want from her plus it will be a nice surprise.

    You will find love with her or someone else.

    Wish you the best!

  • 2 months ago

    Too many other women to date than to obsess about someone who obviously doesn't want to be with you.

  • P
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    She just wants to see if she can do "better" while she keeps you on a leash.  Girls like that will run you into the ground.  Trying to stay friends will make it impossible for you to have a healthy relationship with anyone else which is her ultimate goal for now.  You should focus on meeting someone who actually wants to be with you assuming you want a relationship.  Don't buy the "need more time to work on herself" nonsense; there's any number of ways she could do that without actually breaking up with you.  Just tell her maybe you guys can be friends at some point in the future, but you can't do that right now, then block her and start the process of moving on. 

  • 2 months ago

    Work on yourself and Let her work on herself. 

  • 2 months ago

    It would be best if you made a decision about whether or not a possible, future relationship with her is worth waiting for and being "just friends" in the meantime, or not. Make that decision. 

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