Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingNewborn & Baby · 2 weeks ago

Can’t throw friend a baby shower, advice?

This is her second child, she got pregnant 4 months after she had her first and they’re both boys.

I assumed because it’s another boy she wouldn’t have another baby shower because she could use all the clothes, toys etc from the first baby for the second one since they’re close in age...but I was wrong.

She wants a baby shower but financially that’s just not something I can afford by myself at the moment and she doesn’t have any other friends to help throw it and i doubt her family will because they’re going through a rough patch currently. I’m moving a couple days before the day she chose to have the baby shower on so my money is being tied up into the new place. 

I feel bad but I just don’t know what to do!

7 Answers

  • 2 weeks ago

    Don't feel bad.  Just because she wants a shower doesn't mean anyone is obligated to give her one.  Also, anyone can host a shower for her. It doesn't have to be you.  In the "olden days" you only got a shower for the first child if you got one at all.

     Seems like your friend is a bit of a prima donna and spoiled. Either someone else will buckle to her demand and. throw her a shower or she'll do without.

    Feel free to give her a gift if you want or coordinate with other friends to purchase something like a double stroller so your friend can take both the newborn and toddler out and about.  That is the type of gift that would be useful and thoughtful -- and she probably doesn't have.  

  • 2 weeks ago

    Her babies will be a year apart.  She doesn't need another shower, and it would be beyond tacky to have one.  If she wants to be tacky, great. (She's already hit the really tacky level by asking for one and dictating what date it's on anyway.)  You aren't obligated to indulge her. 

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    Baby showers are usually only done for the FIRST child.

    A baby shower for future babies is actually tacky and not typically done.

    The mother trying to demand someone throw her a baby shower is even worse.  A baby shower is something that friends and family do for the expectant mother without the mother ever asking for it or mentioning it.  And the mother picking the date for the shower is ridiculous.  It should be based on the date picked by the person who is hosting it unless there is a real conflict of events.

    Tell her that you can't financially do a shower for her this time.  Tell her the date she picked is too close to your moving date.  Suggest that she just do a baby registry and send out the information for people to check the registry and send gifts for the new baby.  (maybe you could help her send out announcements with the registry information.)  

  • 2 weeks ago

    Tell her to buy her own crap like everyone else does

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  • helene
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    There's no reason to feel bad. 

    Maybe the reason she has no other friends is that she's such a pushy, entitled creature. Do NOT feel guilty.

    Practice these two phrases until you can say them proudly right to her face:

    "I can't afford to give you a baby shower."

    "I'm moving on ______(date)."

  • edward
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    My wife is having a girl and we’re not having another baby shower...everything our boy has is white or grey.  Pretty neutral colour, she can use them too, only thing we need is a new carrier for the stroller because our son has a 3 in 1 he’s still using it.  You have a crazy friend if she thinks she’ll get a second full on shower for that

  • Lisa A
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    You are not obligated to do this, and especially not obligated to pay for it. Just wish her well, and tell her how sorry you are that you can't make it to her shower, because you will be buried under a mountain of moving boxes. Send a congratulatory greeting card.

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