Does my husband have to support me financially even though we are both in university and we both don’t have a job ?
Basically my question is that me and my bf want to get married sooner than normal but at the same time we can’t because we aren’t financially stable yet so him paying for my living expenses etc is impossible since he’ll be studying medicine so what do I do. Is it a good idea to do this or should we wait till we are 11 years together (in a relationship and then get married)
- Ace ShortyLv 71 month ago
If you're good looking, you might want to consider becoming a female escort. I see no way for your BF to be paying your bills, he has more bills to pay than you do.
- 1 month ago
NO... no law says he has to support you at all unless you are granted alimony.
- 1 month ago
Basically I I didn’t explain this very well for all of you. Me and him see traditional views in terms of me being a house wife and him working. In our community we believe that men should pay for their families and that’s just what we think and mostly what HE wants to do. I totally respect the 2020 society in which everyone is half and half and yes it will be but in our view it’s important for a husband being able to support the family. (We believe in gender roles to some extent) but I also fully agree and respect other people’s decisions in terms or what they do in their life and I totally respect today’s sense of not having gender roles as of such because it isn’t really necessary since everyone should be treated equally. But anyway we just want to be traditional and waiting for another few years seems like a while since we want to start a family quite early ish (25-26) meaning that we’d have to get married before that and I just wanted to know your guy’s opinion on this matter because we are so confused. Also we aren’t in the US so getting a job part time isn’t available to us and it’s unethical as well since he’s doing medicine and it’s highly demanding and I told him I should get a job but he doesn’t want me to because he doesn’t want to get married and having me support myself financially rather than him doing it. So in no way shape or form am I expecting him to do anything, he wants to mainly do this
- FoofaLv 71 month ago
Never ever ever get married until you both have the means to pay half the bills (no, having your parents pay your share doesn't count). If he's in medical school it'll be a while before he's able to get married responsibly. Doesn't really matter that you've been together a long time. The trick to not ending up divorced is to have all your financial ducks in a row. Money is the cause of more marital breakups than any other reason. P.S. No, he shouldn't be supporting you now or ever unless you both decide that you should stop working for a while to raise your mutual children.
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- Anonymous1 month ago
How can he support you if he is a student and has years to go to become a doctor. Put the marriage off until he is a doctor.
- Andrew SmithLv 71 month ago
You are each living already. The old adage was "two can live as cheaply as one". So why would it cost MORE for the two of you to marry? That doesn't make sense. No one is obligated to support the other. If you are married everything is joint. Together. Shared. Understand?
- Anonymous1 month ago
I worked while my husband got his PhD. He then worked while I got my masters degree. Those were lean years. I'd do it all over again, but it was difficult.
Why would you EXPECT your husband to support you? Why do you EXPECT him to pay your living expenses?
If you can't support yourself, don't get married.
For that matter, if you have to ask strangers for life advice, you're too immature to get married.
- PhilosophyAddictLv 71 month ago
No he does not have to support you financially even if he has a job and he doesn't have to support you in 11 years either
- seedy historyLv 71 month ago
It is never a situation where a husband has to financially support his wife. There is zero legal requirement to do so and it's been a volunteer activity for several generations now. The reason for that is because women can go out and get a job. A hundred years ago that was much more difficult than it is now. Now, in fact, it might be easier for a woman to get "a" job than for a man to do so. You don't mention your major but your husband is studying in a field that is likely to take a good 8-10 years before he's a doctor or even a PA. It's totally make believe that he'd be supporting you financially while he's pursuing his goal. What's your goal? Why are you in University? If it's to meet a man who will support you then you are barking up the wrong tree. How do you two do it? I supported myself through college by WORKING a job two nights a week and weekends. How do two people, coupled, go to college and not work?
- Coach SimonLv 71 month ago
The finances of a marriage are what you decide between yourselves - nobody "has to" do anything.
We fall madly in love, don’t we, thinking (feeling rather) that it will last forever and is enough for a serious relationship. However, it’s very hard to live on an emotional high for very long. Eventually we start to come down from the ecstasy, excitement, strong passions and desires, typically after around 18 months to three years (people vary of course). If couples are friends, discuss their mutual values, shared ambitions, interests, etc., in some depth (obviously there will be some differences, which help make relationships interesting), and make plans, work on their personal development, etc., this can develop into a long and wonderful relationship. If one party feels insecure or low in self respect, it can make for a difficult partnership. It's easy to behave at our best when in love, but marriage, for example, requires a lot of self discipline, sacrifice, compromise and flexibility. If a strong friendship is not in place, the relationship will probably peter out eventually - or worse. Quite often we fall in love because we are lonely and allow ourselves to be won over by anyone who takes an interest in us. Thus we give away control to somebody else if we are not careful. This is another reason for taking things very slowly, and really getting to know someone before committing ourselves or getting too emotionally or sexually involved. Sex can be emotionally bonding, which is disastrous if the other things are not there: strong friendship, similar values and standards, common interests, etc.
I doubt that you are quite ready for marriage.