I like having sex...sometimes. Sometimes I really feel the urge to have sex and sometimes I don't. But I've never been sexually attracted to someone. Ever. I was sexually attracted to my first boyfriend, but it was so so little that it was practically non-existent. I've never looked at a stranger and thought, "Damn, they're hot. I'd sleep with them." 

Is this asexuality? Not that it matters because I personally don't like being labeled, but for a long time I felt like I was broken because I wasn't like everybody else my age (I'm a 22 year old woman). Knowing if this is asexuality would at least make me feel like it's not my fault that I'm not sexually attracted to people. 


And just to clarify, my boyfriend and I would have sex all the time and I really liked having sex. But to say I was sexually attracted to him, I'd be lying. 

4 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    How I like employing the matter of sexual magnitude is through a 7-point scale.

    At 1, you have no magnitude to your sexual attraction. Purely Asexual.

    At 2, 3, you have some magnitude. Asexual, but often self-described as "Grey-Ace" or "Demi-Ace".

    At 4, you are normal.

    At 5, 6, you have an above-average magnitude to your sexual attraction.

    At 7, you are...the most-familiar terms are "Nymphomaniac" or "Sex addict". Sadly our "anti-sex" societal norms deny openness about a hyperactive level of sexual desire, so there's no words I am aware of that are intrinsically more-respectful.


    NOTE, however, that the use of labels is personal. It's a means to understand oneself, and so if you feel you are a 1 but think "Grey"/"Grey-Ace" is a better label...or if you are a 2 and think that "pure" "Asexual" is most accurate...well, there's no gate-keeper to stop you from being the one that makes sense to you.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You are not completely asexual but it sounds like you are grey asexual. Grey aces experience sexual attraction rarely and it might not be very strong.

  • 4 weeks ago

    It sound more like gray sexual. It’s sometimes feeling sexual attraction and/or feeling sexual attraction mildly

  • 4 weeks ago

    I think that's normal. I mean, are men really that sexy??? No offense to the men but I don't think women have the same style of lust for men as men do for women. It could also be a culturally-taught thing too. I wouldn't look much into it. It's you. Don't make it a label.

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