Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

My gf died last year...I'm ready to start dating again. How do I start?

There are so many things worrying me. Should I tell this to girls upfront? Will I be judged harshly? Did my "market value" decrease in the eyes of other women? What will friends/family think if they find out i set up an online dating profile? Am I even ready for all this again?

I might be overthinking all this, but I'd love some advice.

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    First of all, it isn't anyone's business. How and when you move on is your business. 

    I wouldn't bring it up unless asked about exes and/or if her passing effects your life in some physical way (ex. you go to grief counseling on the regular). 

    Yes you may be judged but it really doesn't matter so long as you are doing what is right for YOU and only YOU. 

    The market value thing is really dependent on the person. I don't know how your girlfriend died but if for example she passed in a car accident and you tend to get overly anxious when your significant other drives then that would be difficult to deal with. Or if you're overly possessive/protective in fear that something like that will happen again to someone that you love. Grief based behavior is the main worry there, even if the behavior isn't necessarily your fault (like you getting triggered by trauma isn't your fault). 

    And the question of if you are ready is one only you can answer. My main question is are you ready to invest your time and emotions into someone who very well may die? Our lives aren't set in stone and while I think the chances of having multiple life partners die while you are in a relationship with them is slim, it is still possible. Can you handle that if it does happen again? I know that isn't an easy question but it is an important one.

    I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide :)

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Buy a pair of pants that comes with a pump that you can inflate the crotch to make it look like you have a big one

  • 1 month ago

    Firstly condolences, secondly you are way overthinking this. You don't need to tell anyone upfront especially if you don't want to. Your market value did not decease, friends and family do not need to know how you aquired a date and they probably have a profile on dating sites as well, so stop feeling sorry for yourself. You seem to still be grieving this loss but meeting people and making new friends could turn out to be a good distraction for you.

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